New Year, New Hopes...

I have not written in my blog in a little over a month and I think it is because I was so ready for an old year to finaly come to an end and a new year to arrive, bringing with it a renewed sense of hope. In the cold months of winter, I look for a renewal, like the birth of spring, or the breath of life breathed again into someone that has ceased to exist. I can not lie and say, that although I have been brought through another year, 2006 was a year I was not to fond of for apparent reasons. With different eyes through the looking glass, someone could say that the glass of 2006 was half full, and not half empty. I am now the same age as Jesus Christ when He died on the cross, and if I live to see my next birthday, it could be very easily stated that my life is so blessed to have been given more time than Jesus. However, when He died, he realized his destiny as the Savior of the human race. More than anything, I still seek to define my purpose. It is the one thing that drives me to be more than anything than most people dream to be, or hope to accomplish. It is the fight in me that keeps me moving forward automatically towards accomplishment, almost as a computer program instructed to do so, despite personal demons. This year I have made my "resolutions." It is to bring myself closer to being in control of me, and the things that control how my life is defined. That of course is an on-going process. But more specifically, in the comedy world, I hope to gain some exposure to someone. To who? I'm not sure. To someone who might understand what I'm trying to do. Someone who believes in me. I will try to enter as many comedy festivals and competitions that I can this year in order to accomplish that. If I come away establishing management, or potential for management, then my goal in that area will be accomplished. Of course, being the mindful planner that I am, I also hope to have made a lot of progress on my small business start up. Hopefully, in the spring of 2008, I can add "entrepreneur" to my resume. Having my own business would mean that I have done something - created some kind of legacy. It would also serve as protection against the notion that even I, deserve everything that I could possibly dream of, and want in life. By the end of this year, I don't know how close I will have come to reaching those "resolutions" I have made for myself. Nevertheless, I have determined to keep reaching until I have complete success in one or the other, or both. To me, the purpose of my life has been left with mostly the fight, as other things have faded, fallen by the waistside, or have shown disappointment. The fight is what I have left to believe in, until such time that I am shown a reason to believe in something else. And until such time that I have accomplished what I seek to leave behind from my life, I fight...