So you think you know funny...?

Original Poetry

2009-12-27T20:18:00.005-05:00

Her

Look to the inner recesses of my mind and you will find

the thoughts of mine taken

by her; a dark slumber forsaken

since the first; moment of my Awaken

And mine eyes open to which

they never saw before, they stay

upon the light she emanates

insistent like an Alaskan summer day

Tantalizing, her charms magnetizing

to her, pulling me ever closer

by that which resides deep within

which is the child that truly shows her

I bear witness to her mastery

of perfect union - body, spirit, and heart

her beauty is Degas

and her composition, Mozart

Coincidence, she reminds me of me

ambitions as I, in my detection

'go getter' is the description of her

but 'go-get-her' is my direction

How impossible for me to imagine

she were not to be mine

when i sent myself out to the universe

and it responded to me in kind

And if at any moment

my thoughts could manifest themselves to occur

they would show to lay, linger and think

they would show to stay upon her

cmr

Backstage focus article.

2009-11-12T22:06:00.002-05:00

Just Old Men Talking (Return Engagment)

2009-10-31T09:19:00.002-04:00

The Lucy Florence Cultural Center is located in Leimert Park. Address is:

3351 W. 43rd Street
Los Angeles, CA. 90008
323.293.1356 for reservations

This is a great show, about....you guessed it, old men talking on various subjects, in the African-American barbershop tradition. These 'old men' speak from their personal experiences, and through that, try to bridge the gap of things of the past, with the goings on of today. It is directed by a great director, Sharon L Graine, and written by first time playwright Grady L Mackey III. It deserves to be seen by as many people that can see it!

Gimme a couple of minutes!

2009-10-17T21:47:00.000-04:00

To Kill A Mockingbird

2009-10-17T03:17:00.004-04:00

An upcoming play for which I will be performing...

Harper Lee's Pulitzer Prize winning story (adapted by Christopher Sergel) of Scout, Jem, Atticus Finch and the reclusive Boo Radley takes the audience to Maycomb, Alabama during the Great Depression. Lies and bigotry tarnish a courtroom and bring the characters face to face with racial injustice and the loss of innocence, but ultimately it is the warmth and humor of this tale that secures its place among the timeless classics.

Note: This play runs Thursday October 22nd through Saturday October 24th. Shows start at 8pm. There is also a matinee showing on Saturday October 24th at 2pm.

PRICES:
Student - $12.50
Adult - $15.00
Senior 55+ - $12.50
Child 12- - $12.50

Box office: http://boxoffice.fullcoll.edu/info_contact.asp

Topical stuff...

2009-10-16T02:31:00.003-04:00

... from the first half of a set I performed at a recent show in Camarillo.

Just Old Men Talking (A Return)

2009-09-20T21:44:00.000-04:00

A return from the Long Beach Times....

A Legend Never Dies...

2009-07-10T03:24:00.003-04:00

As an MJ fan, I wanted to share my thoughts on the life of Michael Joseph Jackson. I truly believe the life of MJ was specially ordained by God. MJ was the vessel through which humanitarianism, song, and beauty of the purest form, was expressed. It does not surprise me that MJ had to endure so much garbage, because most people did not know or meet the messenger, or they focused too much on scrutinizing his every move instead of hearing his message. No one is above being crucified, if they crucified Jesus. I think MJ truly lived for his music and his fans (before his children came along), because when there wasn't that, he was very lonely. He couldn't trust (adults) for obvious reasons, he couldn't go out like a normal person, so he compensated by satisfying the desires of his heart that manifested as far back as when he was a boy performing - all but about five years of his life. He filled the most extraordinary and unique shoes a person can wear, with his whole life in front of the world. Let me say that again - his WHOLE life in front of the WORLD! Very, very few people can or could understand what that is/was like - the likes of Sammy Davis Jr., Mickey Rooney, Stevie Wonder who were essentially child stars. Even then, those names or any other names, equate to the global popularity of MJ. He was the celebrity's celebrity. No one can possibly understand that position to be in, when from childhood, you are the machine that becomes the meal ticket of many a people. I think an irony of MJ's life, is that his father pushed his kids to be something he truly wanted for himself - JJ wanted to be the star with the career, and here his son, with God given talent, becomes the biggest star the world has ever seen, after enduring a lot of psychological and probably much physical abuse as a child. Karma is a bitch! As Michael Jackson post thriller, he just became a scapegoat for other people's crap! In our country, it became the cool thing to ridicule and attack MJ, because in this country, it's so important to be cool, that MJ was needed for people to like themselves. They could point and say, 'at least i'm not screwed up like MJ' However, when you hear accounts from people who were closest to him, you hear that the man was a great father, friend, the embodiment of, and an ambassador of love. As long as he was a law abiding citizen like anyone else, what did it matter how he spent or what he did with his money. By the way, with the talk that Michael's career fell off, I want to add that MJ put out great music to his last album Invincible, which was a great album. Just because people were too busy trashing MJ, not buying his albums, did not mean he didn't have the talent anymore. People chose not to buy his album. Many times as a black talent, when you rise to certain success in this country, mud is thrown to tarnish or destroy the lustre of that talent. I believe that was done as to abase MJ's success, to make him seem not as great as white counterparts - but make no mistake, global phenomenon and a transcender of race, age, and other boundaries, don't lie!...I never met MJ, which I had really hoped that I would be able to do one day. That can not happen now, but one of the greatest things I can say about my life, is that I partially lived and experienced the era of Michael Jackson. I will always be thankful for the great memories, smiles, songs, messages, electric performances that MJ gave, and the wonderful spirit that MJ showed and proved himself to be. There was only one Michael Jackson, and there will never ever be another!

R.I.P. MJ!

I Need A Secretary

2009-06-07T23:52:00.005-04:00

I am realizing that I am bad at trying to keep new stuff on my site. I wish I had that lady who was Tony Stark's assistant in the movie Ironman. I just find that it never seems like that there are never enough hours in the day to accomplish the things that need to get done. Nevertheless, it really doesn't take that much effort to post the flyer from the play that I am currently doing. I thought I had already posted it on here, but it seems as if I confused that with a Facebook post. So here this is...

"Awaken" the Christian play...

2009-04-14T02:57:00.003-04:00

...which I will be performing in on Saturday April 25th. Peep the flyer.

I saw a difference, but...

2009-04-01T14:12:00.004-04:00

that stimulus to our paycheck, I can't speak on it being a big boost as of yet. I saw more on my check than usual, but March is a long month, with more days in the pay period. Plus I get re-imbursed for mileage at my job at the end of every month. I would hope that the stimulus difference would equate to a 'grown folks' difference. Does anyone have a difference in their check which is significant enough to meet that status? Or is this like ice cream truck money, where I can stock up on airheads, hot sausages, cookies and can soda stimulus money? My mom tells me she got $20 extra dollars in her check. I don't think she got stimulated that much.

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

Look what God made in class today....

2009-03-22T22:26:00.001-04:00

I will peform here....

2009-03-21T00:05:00.004-04:00

...on May 1, 2009.

It's Goin' Down!!!!! Saturday April 25th!

2009-03-19T21:33:00.002-04:00

Come on out if you can. We fittin' to act like fools!

A salad?...You gotta be kiddin' me!

2009-03-14T22:20:00.013-04:00

Okay, so I am in a support group meeting the other day (and before you start wondering if this is like a Chris Brown type support group meeting, I'll just say it is a support group meeting for those born with the same medical condition as I), and the topic of eating, and eating nutritionally better came up - and the topic of mealing out on salads came up. Mealing out - as in, eating a salad as a meal within itself.

I'll say this first. Salads...healthy, yes. Friendly to the cause of sparing some delicious animal to be put on a plate, yes. And I suppose they're pretty when you add vegetables of primary colors to it. But salads aren't for men. And when I say this, I'm not saying a guy can't eat a salad. I'm saying that a salad just doesn't figure into a guys thought process of what a meal is, or eating a salad to get full. That would apply to a woman. A woman might eat a salad because she's eating healthy however. Or because she's watching the weight. Or any combination of the three. The point is, a woman can eat a salad for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and it could be a meal for a woman on any of those occasions.

A guy on the other hand, can not, and would not consider a salad as a meal. Correction - any man that wasn't gay, would not consider a salad a meal. Though a salad has its own digestive and nutritional importance, no man gets to the point of 'starvin' like marvin' and says to himself, 'I think I'll have just a salad." Hell, even a man barely hungry never thinks of eating just a salad. And do you know why? Because to a guy, a salad defies the purpose of eating, which is to be full as long as we can. And to us guys, that's the point of eating. Bring us something tasty and filling. There's a reason they make places like Carl's Jr. Because guys want as much rib sticking food to put in our stomachs for whatever price we pay. If we pay two dollars for food, give us for the two dollars as much dead animal and potatoes as possible. Or dead animal and fries. Or dead animal and rice. Or dead animal and fry rice. You decide. My point is, we want to get full, and guys can't get full off of a salad. A man cannot live by croutons alone. If a guy has five dollars and goes to In N Out, he's a man - a real man. Even if the guy is a vegetarian, he may eat a salad, but he's gotta hook it up with a soy burger, fish, or some other kind of meat substitution product because that is how he is going to get full. If a man has five dollars, goes to Starbucks, buys a salad for lunch and the salad is the main attraction, he's gay! If a man goes to Subway and orders a lettuce and green peppers sub, he's gay AND he's stupid! C'mon! It's called Five, Five, Five dollar footlooooooongs! Get your man on! What are you kidding me? You're increasing the wait time in line and you're ordering an earth sandwich? They already have product for people that like to wait in line and kill my lunch hour ordering a Subway earth sandwich - it's called a Starbuck's salad!... If a man goes out to a sit down and order off a menu restaurant, and orders a salad for a meal, he's gay! Make sure you check to see if Elton John, and Clay Aiken are in his party. Now you're saying to yourself, "what about salads with chunks of chicken, or ham, or whatever in them. Those can be really filling." I defy you still, to find a real man who will go to the Black Angus and order a chunky chicken and sesame salad, with a nice water back. And besides that, I say if you're bringing me meat and salad anyway, why don't you just bring me the salad by itself, before the meal, like it's traditionally done. And then, you know, just bring me my meat already together after I eat the salad - you know, like it's traditionally done. I'll cut up my man meat all by myself." I mean, I AM a man who's old enough to cut his own meat, aren't I? Besides, I don't like anyone stealing my thunder of me carrying out my animalistic nature of carving into my stomach filling gratification. Call me a barbarian. Call me a pig. But do me a favor and slide the salad to the lady and just make sure to call me a man.

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

Liquid Serenade (original poetry)

2009-03-10T03:41:00.018-04:00

inspired by and written for Melissa

Liquid Serenade

Listen at your window pane, the music in my summer pitter-patter
See the meaning in my syncopated melodies
Feel the gaze of my gifted pendulum kiss
And let my reign fall upon you...

Now take from me, all seen through the kaleidoscope
Let the midnight waters serve me after your presence, and
Inundate my senses with your four seasons
Let your rain fall upon me, and...

I will succumb to the place of your peaceful Jordan
When I stand within whispers of your welcoming shore
And my eye you stare to the heart of me
and subdue within me the tempest; consummate my soul and let...

the rain fall upon us, until...

The quiet storm indulges a ravenous earth
And I trace the cryptic walls of your desires deep
into the cavernous places of you unexplored, tell me your secrets, until...
None are left to tell, and let...

my rain fall upon you...

And I shall tirelessly seek the place of prestigious consent
That I would knowledge in a metacarpus
and cultivate in the land of milk and honey; and heroes will be made
when I divert from you Boreas' intent...

so let my rain fall upon you...

And though my candor spills from meager lips
See me Paris and...
The sustenance I pour from the nectar you sip....

...and let my rain fall upon you

cmreese

Swordplay

2009-03-09T03:11:00.002-04:00

Doing Time In Planet Hollywood

2009-02-27T01:53:00.007-05:00

This is a picture taken with my blackberry at the Kodak theater. Unlike the partying and celebration of the Presidential inauguration for which I was able to take a front row seat, this is as close as I would get to any Hollywood magic - at least for this year anyway. No exclusive invitations, no tuxedo, no star-studded parties for me...although I did actually get to sit in a limo on Oscar day (and the story behind that is not a big deal at all. Really). This year, as I have done for the past couple of years, I played peon for production in Hollywood's biggest night. In actuality, my clearance wasn't high enough to be a direct part of production for the Oscars ceremonial red carpet walk or the show itself. A guy could only be so lucky. Instead, my role in the Oscars was a much more vicarious one - one in which it felt as if I was a third string quarterback for the New England Patriots. I'm at the Super Bowl, but my duties have far less of a direct impact than the higher paid leader of our team. This past weekend, I actually worked for Good Morning America covering the Oscars as a highly regarded runner. This is just a fancy way of saying taxi - a taxi for people, equipment or unedited media.

I saw my weekend working as a runner for Good Morning America as doing time of sorts. Though I would never step foot inside the Kodak theater or traverse the red carpet as production staff or media, I would go down this weekend as an unknown that helped bring the magic of Hollywood to those who could only experience this night through television...doing my time, until one day, I have reason to be one of many to sit amongst the audience of Hollywood elite on one Oscar Sunday. Or to one day host an Academy Awards show. Or to one day present at an Academy Awards show. Not to say that I definitely expect either one of these to happen one day, but none of these is out of reach of my capacity to dream. If three six mafia can receive an Oscar, for which I'm sure they could never expect to win even in their wildest of dreams, then at the very least, I can dream as well.

There is no doubt that Hollywood with all of its glitz and glamour and its 'perfect' royalty, have some kind of intoxication for most people. This 'intoxication' exists in different forms for different people. For some, it is as simple as seeing a movie, television show, or live performance of their favorite celebrity, and then they can leave this world and return to their own. For some, it is having an autograph or picture taken with their favorite celebrity, and then they can leave this world and return to their own. And then some let their fixation, whatever it may be, totally and dangerously consume their lives - enter Octo-mom. Come on! She looked NOTHING like Angelina Jolie ten years ago! But I digress...

I came to Los Angeles nine years ago to be in industry - to become industry. Ever since I was a child, there was always some feeling that I was meant to do something great. There was always something in me that wanted me become an inspiration to many others. And then there was of course the fascination with Hollywood. Of course, doing something great and being an inspiration to many, does not necessarily have to mean doing anything associated with entertainment at all. But life is entirely too short to not yield to come what may...Having the feeling of one day doing something great however, is unexplainable. For me it is best explained through a statement Chris Rock once made with an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Oprah Winfrey would essentially ask him if he ever thought he would become who he was. Chris Rock would reply by stating that he as an unknown, would look at magazines filled with celebrities and question, "Why am I not in this?" Of course, Oprah herself has even stated, that even she knew she was meant to do something great before she became who she was.

That is some insight into me and what drives me partially. This for me, is doing time in Hollywood or paying dues as we say - in addition to the preparation of whatever gifts God has given me. This weekend, I shuttled around producers and production crew for Good Morning America and I opened doors for PA's and directors of the show. Not exactly the glitz and glamour that sells so many magazines at the grocery checkout line. Who knows though? Maybe one day, someone will be opening the door of a limousine for me...I guess for me, the thirty second ride in the elevator and conversation about President Obama with the very youthful spirited, and co-anchor of Good Morning America, Robin Roberts, will have to suffice as all the glitz and glamour I would receive this time around...not bad.

WOW!

2009-02-17T21:12:00.001-05:00

...and "the struggle" continues...

THE day

2009-02-07T02:44:00.002-05:00

I have been thinking of what I was going to write exactly about being one of two million people to descend onto Washington, D.C. to see the first black U.S. President be sworn into office. Other than saying that it was very cold that day, it is really hard to put into words the excitement and emotions of that day. It is still almost unbelievable to know that all this is real, but I am proud to say that I was a part of history. As such, I have chosen to use images instead of words to better capture the significance of this day. For those that were not able to attend the inauguration, I hope this video gives you a powerful sense of this momentous, yet truly indescribable day.

Star Studded!

2009-02-05T21:39:00.006-05:00

A few of the celebrities present at the Presidential neighborhood inaugural ball. In order are:

Beyonce
Mary J. Blige
Faith Hill
Vice President Joe Biden & Jill Biden
Alicia Keyes
Kerry Washington
Leonardo DiCaprio
Maroon 5
Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon
Shakira
Stevie Wonder
Vanessa Williams
Wil.i.am
Lucy Liu and....
ME!

Told Ya I Was There!!!

2009-02-03T01:48:00.004-05:00

Footage taken with my digi-videocam at the prestigious Neighborhood Inagural Ball where me and my best friend partied...Yeah, we got pull! Look for Sting, Diddy, Denzel, and Jamie Foxx when I swing the camera to the left.

Party Like A **rack Star!

2009-02-02T02:26:00.006-05:00

Presidential Inaugural Neighborhood Ball
January 20, 2009
Taken with my Sony digital camera. Not bad, hunh?

Day 2

2009-01-19T18:20:00.017-05:00

Monday - now just under 18 hours before we have a new U.S. President. Monday has been more like a "whatever you do today, make sure you put it on cruise control" day. Tomorrow will most definitely require massive amounts of energy - lest you forget the partying that comes after the inauguration, and the inauguration will undoubtedly be a 'test of wills.' Forecast for tomorrow: CRAZINESS!....and possibly scattered tears...

With today being the day we recognize for King's birthday, it was only natural that they were running more than the usual programming in remembrance of King and his 'dream.' Hmmm, I wonder why? I flicked through the various channels of CNN, History channel, Headline news, local news, and the like for most of the morning. I watched the "I Have A Dream" speech that CNN aired this morning, and got sort of a tingle when King made reference to his little children living in a nation, where they would "not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." To know that this nation judged a black man partially by his character, and not by his skin color, electing him to the office of the U.S. Presidency, is deep. To know that the children of MLK have lived to see the nation become what their father dreamed, is deep. There is a punctuation there at that point in King's speech, of the sacrifice a parent makes for the child - a punctuation of the sacrifice that a generation makes for those that follow...out of all that historical footage they pull out of the vault on King's birthday, much of which I've seen before, the two that always touch a nerve are the stories of the 'four little girls' and Emmit Teal. Although both stories are tragic, my heart is always heaviest for what happened to Emmit Teal. With the crime committed against this little boy, so horrific and unimaginable, I can only wonder if he thought death couldn't come fast enough - the only relief from the torture given to him by his kidnappers.

After lingering around the house for most of the day, it was time to get things accomplished. I had been waiting for my best friend to come and scoop me since I am in town without a car of my own to drive. With living in California, I don't know how to not have a car, so I plan to carefully leverage my resources of those that have a car while I'm here...I am finally out the house around 4p.m. when my friend pulls up in front of my moms' house in her minivan. Today is a late start, because it is my friends' daughters' birthday - she is four today, and that is an important age to celebrate before people are to be picked up and chauffered around. She is asleep, totally oblivious to my presence when I enter the vehicle, and I of course appear magically out of nowhere when she is to wake up later. My friends' son is awake, but not having seen me in a while, doesn't seem to be quite enough for him to get too excited after appearing a little tired from the earlier events of the day...

Today was like The Amazing Race, as me and my friend had to race all over the DMV in order to get things done. Like The Amazing Race, it helps to have someone you have some kind of pre-existing relationship with, so that the journey doesn't seem too much like work. When me and my best friend get together, it's either like two very old souls or two souls from the very distant future, coming together. We only understand each other, and not the rest of humanity. Our time together is usually filled discussing Howard U days, or cynical talk about life, relationships, career and money - you know all that shit they DON'T see coming for their ass in the movie Twilight. It's not always bitterness when we get together though. Sometimes the tone is pathetic, as it might look like the show I Love the 80's, when we reminisce from music of the era, playing on the radio. I kid though...

Our first stop was to pick up my tuxedo, before the place closed at seven. By the way, a word of advice - if you ever have to rent a tuxedo, at all costs, always, always, ALWAYS, make sure you see what you'll be renting first. In other words go to the store where you will rent your tux, see the tux you want, and get fitted for that tux. I on the other hand, called in the measurements of my tux from California. They called in my tux from Saturday Night Fever. Really nothing that can be done now - the tuxedo is already paid for, and good luck trying to find a tux tailored to you, twelve hours before the Presidential inaugural ball of the first black President, IN chocolate city no less..Next stop, Dulles airport in Chantilly, VA. Even though I could've picked up my delayed luggage as late as 2 a.m., we have to be back in downtown d.c. (you know, the area you should avoid at all costs because there will be a Presidential inauguration in the area in T minus hours) to pick up inaugural ball tickets. We arrive at the airport, and let me tell you, Dulles is THE place to go if you don't want to get harassed by airport cops. My friend posted up outside the terminal the whole time I was in the airport to pick up my luggage. That would NEVER happen in any airport in SoCal. Dulles is so bad with theirs, they should be called L.A.X. - get it? lax! Anyway, I pick up my luggage, minus a leg off the luggage, and 3/4 of a bottle Perry Ellis 360 that was placed inside my luggage, that either TSA went in there and took, or somebody went inside and stole! I'm going to be in TSA's ass until someone gives me my $42.00 to replace my 360, 'cause don't nobody fucks with my 360! Nobody!... I have a decade problem with my tuxedo, and now I'm cologneless for the inaugural ball! All I need now is for my ride to turn into a big ass sweet potato ('cause black people don't do pumpkin) on the way home from the ball...anywaaaay, tux: check! luggage: check! Now it's on to pick up ball tickets. My best friend, who is entirely responsible for me being able to have any kind of thing to attend for inauguration, is frantic about her timeline to get to down town D.C. in time to pick up Neighborhood ball tickets at face value - $33 dollars! That's right! Eat it you people who had to take out payday loans for yours! My friend wanted those tickets so bad, I think if we would've got in an accident on the way there, I might've been cut for dead weight, and she would have kept it moving. We finally GPS, finagle our way, and get talked over the phone within a couple blocks of 'the drop.' But since traffic is a parking lot, and the area is a nest of one way streets, it is almost impossible to be timely to our destination. I've never seen my best friend so determined for anything that I've seen her bolt so fast out of her own vehicle, leaving me with her own children, while she double times it to her destination. Ladies and gentleman, I do believe we have a new world and olympic record!...Traffic was so bad, that she was out of her car, and I had only moved one city block before she was back into it! Yeah, TOMORROW is going to be really fun!...on our way out (and I must mention this, because the absolute, entire world must know this situation occurred), my friend was able to use her negotiation skills to get D.C.'s finest to open up a blockade for us, since it seems the various law enforcement agencies were not in sync with each other, essentially setting up blockades that turned motorists into hamsters on a spinning wheel. I hope she is happy now that everyone in the blogosphere knows that it was her, on the evening of Monday January 19, 2008, that was responsible for this - just in case you might've been behind us that day and you had no idea of who to thank because you were able to escape this horrific situation!

It is finally time to sit back, and wind down from our stressful and adventurous day. After a stop to thank the person who was the hookup for the inaugural ball tickets, and a stop at my friends' house to recharge and drop off kids, it's time for just us two to belong to the city - to belong to the night! We choose to go to the movies solely, since it is too late to do anything else in addition to the movie like we were originally planning. Since it is Golden Globe and Oscar nomination season, it would be obvious that we would go see a movie fitting of the occasion, such as The Curious Case of Benjamin Button or Milk. So which of these movies had the honor of receiving our money, on this, the day before the most historic day of our life time?...No, No, No, NO-TOR-I-OUS!!!...Yeah that's right! Said it and did it! I mean, come on! We're talking about the man with the greatest flow of all time here! I'd like to see Harvey Milk just try and spit words like this:

The doctor said I need about three weeks of recovery
but the nurses is lovin me
Sayin the best part of the day is my half
Feedin me breakfast, and givin me a sponge bath
Niggaz say I died dead in the streets
Nigga I'm gettin high, gettin head on the beach
Chillin, sittin on about half a million
With all my niggaz, all my guns, all my women
Next two years, I should see about a billion
All for the love of drug dealin
Got no love for the other side, fuck them tricks (fuck them)
Any repercussion, Junior M.A.F.I.A. spit clips (that's right)
All the time, Big Poppa kick the war rhymes
Raw flows, and that's how it goes

Now that is poetry! When I just think of the sacrifices that King made so that us black folk could have the liberties to say some of the things we say today, it just brings a tear to my eye.

Day 1 of Inaugural blog

2009-01-18T18:37:00.005-05:00

I have finally descended onto my home of Washington, D.C. - two days before the world shall see the inauguration of the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama. I can't say that getting here was as smooth as I would like it to have been, but I am here. I left Los Angeles where it is at least in the comfortable '70's, and I am now dealing with temperautures with highs somewhere in the thirties. When I left Saturday to come to D.C., I was really tired. I had been out late Friday night having drinks in Old Town Pasadena, and Saturday morning I had my martial arts exam. Having had the wine I had Friday night, the martial arts exam I had Saturday, and the lingering head congestion I've been dealing with due to extreme temperature changes, my energy was sapped for journey to D.C.
I'm not the biggest fan of flying, although any fool would understand the convenience of it. If you're anything like me, you're probably not too cool on flying if, once you've arrived to your destination, you feel as if you've just cheated death as opposed to being nonchalant about having just flown. It also doesn't help my conscience to know that two days ago, a plane went water skiing on the Hudson River. Funny side note: you know how the flight attendant always goes through the safety mumbo jumbo at the beginning of a flight? On my connecting flight, as the flight attendant was going through this very procedure, it had made it to that point where it is announced, "in case of the very unlikely event where there is a water landing..." And I was thinking to myself, "unlikely event? Oh, you mean like that unlikely event that JUST happened 48 hours ago?" Screw that! I want to know if this plane comes equipped with optional water skis, and a pilot from Top Gun...flying wouldn't be half as bad, if it weren't for the strip search, slash destination interrogation, slash cattle herding at the screening process.It's just too much pressure going through the metal detector. It always feels like a Survivor challenge to see which group of people can move faster and be the first to complete the challenge - your group or the groups at the other detectors. And you have to use a different tray for everything - your shoes, your coat, your laptop, your camera bag, your hat, wallet, change, keys, belt, bluetooth, cell phone, jewelry, and medication - have documentation out and prepare for delousing and branding...because my flight was a night flight, I wound up arriving at JFK after the airport had closed. I essentially had to 'sleep' at JFK until my connecting flight was to leave in the morning when the airport re-opened. You haven't known roughing it, until you've been burdened with carrying too much stuff, traversing airport terminals in order to find sleep zones, and that 'bed' of yours winds up being some kind of concrete food bench. To top it all off, my trip reservation acutually included an airline change - not to be confused with a gate change. Yes, I went from American Airlines to United Express. This type of situation just begs for luggage displacement and delay, which is exactly what happened with my only piece of checked luggage. As I write this, I await at home for United to deliver my luggage which pretty much contains ALL my clothes. This situation has prevented me from going to an affair with my best friend tonight...there was one small nicety - my connecting flight from JFK to Dulles. A short and smooth flight aboard a much smaller plane, the Embraer, I highly recommend that type of flying as opposed to the cattle herder planes where you must contend for bathroom usage, appreciate the position of the person at the window seat, and deal with the Bebe's kids of any race. My plane must've had at most fifty or sixty seats.

Once I had arrived to Dulles and submitted my luggage claim, I was on my way home in my uncle's car. I found myself fighting to stay awake on the drive home, as I was getting de-briefed by my uncle on all the family goings-on. Looking out the car window however, I was able to take notice of some inaugural preparations in downtown D.C. A police blockoff here. A national guard set up there...D.C. looks wintry - as it should right about now. Winter in places like D.C. have a look of despair, and at about 8:30 in the morning, when no one is out on the streets, loneliness adds to it. It's sometimes hard to see beyond that look in the winter time even in the best of neighborhoods and other areas of the city...

...I am proud to be home though. I was too tired to muster energy to attend the inaugural concert at the Lincoln memorial today, and the luggage situation botched my evening plans. Without a car right now, I found myself bound to home watching the AFC and NFC championships. I shall be ready for what comes tomorrow, Tuesday, and beyond. Even through this winter wonderland, you sense the excitement and energy building up for this very big day on Tuesday. There are life size cardboard structures of President elect Obama setup at the airport that people are more than willing to use as a substitute for picture taking of the real thing. Businesses of all sorts are selling Obama souvenirs...and with pride, our community is showing up in great numbers in support of our first black President. I will be one counted amongst the millions of people who felt the need to travel from wherever, to be a part of this. Travel, which however tedious, was a small sacrifice to pay for something once in a lifetime, that I will always remember for a lifetime.

I am now on my way to Washington, D.C....

2009-01-17T17:14:00.003-05:00

to bear witness to the most historic event of our lifetime.

Today in church....

2009-01-11T15:25:00.004-05:00

...as service had ended, I found myself exiting in normal fashion amongst the crowd of other church goers. The church I go to is fairly big, and I usually sit upstairs in the upper balcony section. Making my way to the stairwell so I could take the steps down to the floor level, I found myself meeting up with a young man who was making his way to the stairwell, from the lower balcony section. It didn't take me long at all to realize upon first glance, that I was now walking next to Denzel Washington. Let me say this...the church that I go to is sometimes referred to as 'the church of the stars.' Generally, celebrities and pseudo-celebrities are seated in a section of the church on the floor level, not too far from the pulpit, which I'm quite sure is reserved for them. I had seen Denzel in church on a couple of occasions before - one time as he actually came in with his family sometime after services had already started, and again sitting in lower balcony sections seats not too far from me. Leaving today and noticing him, salt & pepper hair, wearing his Sunday best, humming a little, and just casually walking out amongst the rest of us, I'm realizing that although he knows who he is, and everyone else knows who he is, he doesn't at all try to make a big deal about it. Cool brother! I guess there's a reason that he's so well liked by everyone. I mean, I was right next to him walking out. So close, I wanted to shake his hand and tell him to take care of himself, because I would be working with him one day...

...and during church today, they had a guest choir sing. It was the Tokyo Mass Choir. They were pretty good, but what I'll always remember today about the TMC, was the young lady soloist who performed a selection for which I can not remember the title. What I do remember was that the girl could sing her ass off. She sang like she was black. In fact, if you were to listen to her blindfolded, you would be sure that she was black. It's a shame I don't know her name. Maybe I'm making a bigger deal of this than it probably should be, but how many times does a Japanese choir step into a mostly black church, and then a Japanese soloist steps on stage and tears it up? Not often. When she was done, I gave her a standing ovation, as others in the church did as well. Those who didn't stand to give her a well earned ovation were probably hating on her just because she was Japanese. I, however, found myself so appreciative of her performance, that not only did I give a standing ovation, I was driven to speak on her performance...have you ever been in church, and let something slip from your mouth like you were on the phone with one of your friends? Well it happened with me today, as this young soloist finished her performance. I don't remember the exact words, but when I stood, I think I could've said something to the effect of, "that shit was hot!" I didn't yell it or anything, but it spilled from my lips on to myself, and POSSIBLY some other people who could've been within extreme earshot of me. And if anyone of them is reading this right now, I would just like to extend my apologies to the children of the boys and girls club of Hollywood...No, I'm just playin'.....I was a bad boy in church today. Does this mean I'm going to hell now?

The End Cap

2009-01-11T01:18:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year to all!...So the first full week has passed in 2009, and so far I still have a job, and my car is still getting me where I gotta go. Heeeyyy! Pop the bubbly - I guess I'm batting .400 so far. Surprisingly, things have been slow all week in SoCal with traffic and all, which was a good thing. I guess it's because kids don't back to school until this Monday. I hate to think how traffic will probably be back to its normal shitty state out here, but it's been nice, and we know that all good things must come to an end eventually. I guess the trade off is bad traffic for 70 degree winter weather - which is about what is was all week...A couple of my goals for this year are to find a new job, getting a gig in the industry, and to expand my creative interests into acting. As far as trying to land a job, it appears to be more difficult with the whole recession thing going on now. I've been trying to find other work since about the end of last summer. Now that it's a new year, I'm hoping that I will start hearing something back from some places that I've applied, hoping that some of these people were just holding off hiring until the new year began. I've already put one new year goal into action, as I auditioned for a play and won myself a role. This play is hardly one to make a career, but I can definitely use it to slingshot me to other acting opportunities with which to cut my teeth- especially since I seem to have a major character role in this play that I'm about to do.

It seems as if this will be a busy year for me. The year has just started and I already have a million things to do. Now that I have been cast in this play, I have to remember lines for when the show goes up in February; I must prepare my things for business tax filings; I have to figure out what inauguration event(s) to plan for when I go home, before it's too late and I'm screwed, and I can't go to anything because everywhere is sold out; I have to try to figure out how to field businesses to Hoopla's this year; and I need to step up the comedy career where I can either do the legwork to get myself out there more, or do the work to find a manager/management company in which their job would be to do that work for me - all this, and this doesn't even include the regular 9-5. It's safe to say, that I always have something that I should be doing, even when I'm just relaxing around the house...and I don't think tomorrow will see much getting done in the aforementioned. Tomorrow when I wake up, I plan to go to the 8 a.m. church service, watch the Eagles/Giants game after I get home from church, and then go to the movies after the game to see the Eastwood in Gran Torino. By the time the movie is over and I get home, I'll be wanting to prepare myself for the bull on Monday by going to bed early...lol...Don't be fooled by my words, however. I embrace all this excitement of the things that are going on, and the things that have yet to come for me. I have to say, with the exception of that thing that flew off the roadway today and hit my windshield and made nasty cracks in it (Replace windshield! Damn it! That's another thing I gotta do!), it's starting off for me fairly well....and how was your week?

Where did Sin-N-Bones come from?....

2009-01-10T19:21:00.003-05:00

I came up with the name Sin-N-Bones because it sounded cool, and it was a play on words. Here is a little self deprecating humor, that was born out of the stage name no longer used.

Health Insurance Card????????

2009-01-06T03:47:00.003-05:00

Part of my bit done on health insurance. This was shot May 31st, 2008 at the Camarillo, California Moose Lodge. TRT: 2:34

...and one year later

2009-01-02T03:37:00.029-05:00

Right now as I start writing this, it is about 12:42 in the morning. It is officially the day after New Year's. I probably should be in bed right about now, as I do have to work today. It sucks to have to go to work for only one day after having a holiday on Thursday, but I only work until 3:oo today, as opposed to getting off at my usual time of 5:30. Given that, and the fact that they're showing the lamest of the Rocky series on television (and just one of the lamest movies made in general), Rocky V, I figured that I would write a little.

About a year ago, October 2007 to be exact, I wrote a blog entitled, "And The 44th President of the United States is...not Barack Obama." It's not as if the title to the blog doesn't give away the subject matter, but should you want to read that blog before continuing here, feel free to do so... continuing on, I made a prediction at the time, that America would never elect this black man, Barack Obama to the most powerful office in the whole world. To be forthright, I just thought that America was not ready for this very dramatic change...and one year and some change later, I would just like to say that I was flat out wrong, wrong, WRONG!

By the way, I am the type of person that doesn't like to be wrong. No one likes to be wrong. But if there's one circumstance where I'm glad to have been wrong, it was this one...because I knew. I knew this country was not ready - with all the problems in our country with race, and class distinction; with the dirty pool that abounds in politics, I honestly believed that I would never live to see, or would be a very old man before I would live to see this day come. I am a comedian - I had the "he must be crazy or high!" jokes. My personal belief that our race, although considered in the inclusion of Americans, is tolerated, rather than respected or accepted in this country. Michelle Obama was chastised for stating, " ...for the first time in my adult life I am proud of my country..." She wound up having to defend what came off as sounding like an 'unpatriotic' statement. This apology I understand, doing what she had to do, but I have my own personal belief on the meaning of her statement because it is the exact sentiment that I and countless other 'black Americans' have had since the last stretch of the presidential election.

Ultimately, it was/is an issue that came/comes down to respect and acceptance. In this country, we understand that we are one huge melting pot. And we know that there are cultural differences in the way that we live because of that. However each of us chooses to live, it should never negate the idea however, that we can respect and accept those who are different from ourselves. On November 4th, when our country chose to elect Barack Obama as the next President of the United States, it was tangible confirmation that America at last, was accepting us. America didn't choose for or against a skin color. America chose a man that was an everyday man; a man whose family instilled in him while young, the importance of education - that he could be anything he wanted if he worked hard for it; a man who took those values, worked hard, received some of the best schooling, and used his ambition, talent, and intelligence to carve a political career for himself. America chose a man that was the American Dream that it sells - whom, because he came from rather modest means, was just as American as the next person. America chose what it believed to be the BEST person to lead our country forward in a much needed new direction. America chose a brilliant, inspiring man with integrity. A special young man whose life story was written for the change he articulated in oration - and he just happened to be black. Now for first the time in my life, I have unequivocal belief that anyone in this country really can become anything he or she wants to be. I finally believe what I, and so many others of my generation were told as kids by schoolteachers.

I have a friend who trains with me in Aikido. He is caucasian. His is from Texas. He likes his country music...and he is an intelligent and very cool guy. He said to me that he kind of got why this moment was so important to African-Americans, but he wanted me to try to explain to him in a way where he could get a stronger grasp or understanding of why this moment was SO important. I explained to him that although I could break down to him the 'whys', that he could never fully understand - not because he was white, but because he is not black. Bottom line, as I stated before, it comes down to respect and acceptance...finally. To those who kind of understand the importance of this moment, but want to try to get a stronger grasp of this very profound moment, it explains the shots CNN captured at Obama's victory speech of teary eyes on the faces of a group of young women from Spelman College. It explains black centenarians, whom no matter what their health circumstance, cast their vote in this election. It explains why so many of us [blacks] with young children, children who would be too young to remember November 4th 2008, took our sons and daughters with us, so that pictures could be taken of them at the polls on this day; so that they could help us place the ballot in the box.

Given this most historic moment in our time, my only admonishment for America is to not get lazy. I've been reading since the election that this event, albeit historic, has been an atonement of sorts. I personally look at this as a beginning - the beginning of great and promising change for our country. But there is still much more work to be done. Plus, there are so many more of us behind Barack Obama that deserve every opportunity at even the most far reaching of American dreams - and because it was hard worked to obtain. And I'm not just talking about "us." I'm talking blacks, latinos, asians, and any other color minority.

If I had the opportunity to talk to President elect Barack Obama, I would say to him that I am sorry. I would say that I apologize for doubting or never seeing what he always saw for himself. I would say that you have given so much hope, inspiration and renewed vigor for even the most accomplished of us in our community. I would say that you are a real live hero, a shining king among men, a portrait of our strength, and the Kingsian influence of my generation - and a great inspiration to myself. And although I'm quite sure he knows, I would ask him if he really understands this, and if he really understands what he's done...

...and finally, I would ask him, ''what ever happened to that bumper sticker that I was supposed to get from donating to your campaign? I donated a whole $10 to get that bumper sticker, and it still ain't come in the mail yet!"

Old Obama Material

2009-01-01T22:07:00.003-05:00

1 minute of work out material about then Presidential candidate Barack Obama. Done at a coffee house open mic in Long Beach on February 1, 2008.

Day 365

2008-12-31T21:29:00.005-05:00

It has been long time since I've written anything here. Way too long. So long, I would think that no one has attempted in a while to go to my blog to see if I have written anything new. To anyone out there who might me reading this (a la I Am Legend style), my deepest apologies, as I plan to do better with just writing more in general. I am not the biggest fan of facing an empty piece of paper (or blank screen for that much), but I do know that sometimes you just have to force yourself to do things that are difficult for you to do, until it becomes like second nature [a side note: someone I know who writes told me a couple of weeks ago, that the best time to write is in the morning. He explained in a matter of words that this is so because when you're dreaming and you wake up, that the connection from which you were dreaming, hasn't been completely shut off, and that creativity still flows from this 'unbroken' connection. Not sure of the scientific research done on this, but I guess that explains the one time I woke up with razor slashes across my chest, and the dirty brown hat I had pulled out of my dream]. So I plan to try to force myself to write more until it becomes something I feel I have to do at least once a week. It won't be easy since I bought myself a PS3 for my birthday/Christmas present to myself...LOL. Still, I find myself enjoying sleep more than anything when I have the free time.

It's always natural as the year comes to a close, to look back over the past year, and think on blessings, milestones, accomplishments, and the biggest stories in the media. As for the latter, I am finally glad Britney Spears finally got her shit together (maybe), because it seems in the media as if they refuse to let her self-destruct into obscurity. With Hollywood dumbing us down, 'celebreality' has seemed to suffice as entertainment. Personally, I just feel that Britney's 'comeback' is the impetus to set a path for the development of an updated version of "Strange Love" with Britney and Lil Wayne, but I digress. This blog is my own personal look back on 2008 - things accomplished, and things to look forward to in 2009.

Hands down, my greatest accomplishment this year, was getting my business off the ground - the one and only Hoopla's Entertain Your Ride, Inc. Hoopla's is the original. Any similar offerings are biters of my concept. Getting Hoopla's started would not have been possible without the support of my mom. Ma, you created an American brand! How crazy is that?...well, not an American brand yet, but it has all the potential to be. It's all about how much I'm willing to put into it. So far I've created a website, have run a couple of trips, and have been in a couple media mentions. Basically, I've gotten my ears wet in entrepreneurship. The plane has made the taxi out to the runway - now all I have to do is get this thing off the ground and pilot it to where I want it to go. No problem at all, since this is my first time flying a plane. When you start a business, there are so many things you learn so fast. The most important thing I've learned thus far, or would advise to anyone who wants to start a business on his/her own (especially if you don't have a great deal of money), is to keep options open and start slow. Start as slow as possible for your business to function. If you're the only person running the business, this helps with you being able to learn your way, and to be be able to make fewer mistakes (which you will make) before they happen. When I started Hoopla's, I was very excited and very ambitious about it. My plans from the get-go also represented that healthy amount of ambition - which turned out to be a little too ambitious from jump. With the economy getting progressively worse since the near beginning of 2008, I found myself month by month, or week by week having to make adjustments and decisions that would keep my company viable. My company was a business to consumer model in 2008. In 2009, and until the economy gets better, it will be a business to business model - all part of executive decision. When I first thought of, and was planning Hoopla's, it wasn't as if I was planning to get my business going in a recession. It just so happened that things started unraveling in the country as I had already got going on production. But I honestly believe that starting out the way I did is an advantage, because I am forced to make important decisions quicker and adapt quicker. So many American companies folded this year because they got content, and either failed to see or do anything about the heat they spotted around the corner.

So as 2009 kicks in the door, my resolution is to increase my territory. Increase my territory in career, health, wealth, love, happiness, and spirituality - to take what I did in 2008, and do better in 2009. As I write this, I feel pretty good. With all the people in the country losing jobs, homes, and any security, I'm doing pretty good. In days, I look forward to my next martial arts test (and another year or so, my black belt). I look forward to going back home to celebrate the inauguration of the first black president of our country. I look forward to going home to see my family and peeps, and those I haven't seen in a while. In the months to come, I look forward to adding bricks on to Hoopla's. I look forward to expanding my career in entertainment into acting. I look forward to getting back on track with my comedy, which unfortunately, had to take a slight backburner in 2008 to get Hoopla's going. I feel bad that I have been neglecting my personal website for so long, but hopefully I will do much better with that in 2009. I look forward to coming closer to that someone I met on election night - definitely what us guys call 'wifey material'. She knows who she is. Most importantly, I look forward to looking forward - 2009 and beyond. I hope to, within five years, have positive dramatic change in my life personally and professionally. I wish most of all for my mom to see all the success in her son, who dared to be all he dreamed, and which was the result of the hard work of her and my father.

This Just In Folks....The Fix May Be In...

2008-02-02T11:16:00.001-05:00

Call me a conspiracy theorist if you want to, but I'm just looking for an 'Amen' from somebodyelse that doesn't think I'm crazy...So I was listening to my car radio yesterday (one of the AM talk radio stations), where of course the topic was about the 2008 elections. To make a long story short, they were talking about polls for the general election if held today. If held today, neither Huckabee, or Mitt Romney have much of a chance against either democratic candidate. But if it were John McCain, Hillary Clinton has the lead against John McCain, hence making her very viable in beating him in November. If it were Obama against John McCain, the two are virtually neck in neck with Obama with a very slight lead. Hence, in an Obama and McCain race, McCain could very well become the next President of the United States. There are definitely some people in this country that would like to McCain take the White House, and I believe some powers that be, may just be trying to put the fix in. Am I stretching? Do I sound crazy?...well lo and behold, the freshest news is that the Los Angeles Times is endorsing Obama AND McCain. http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003699878. Okay first, I can understand that some papers are either conservative or liberal. I understand that. So if an entity like the L.A. Times, one of the top five largest circulation newspapers in the country wants to endorse someone, more power to them - though it's been since '72 since they've done that. However, what sense does it make to endorse a democratic and republican candidate? Would it be to help set a certain stage in November? Come to find out, the last person who was endorsed by the Times was Richard Nixon - a Republican. So the paper considers itself to be liberal, but they endorsed Nixon, and this year, they endorse McCain? I'm confused... The paper has never before endorsed a democrat. You might say to yourself, "well, that's good for Obama then." And you would be right. My point is, that 2008 is an extremely important year in terms of elections for this country. Whatever candidate has your endorsement, remember that after Super Tuesday is over, November will be the month where we decide who the next President will be. So even if your candidate doesn't make it to the general election, keep in mind who would be best in moving the country forward when November comes - and get out and vote.

State Of The Union

2008-01-29T00:48:00.000-05:00

Today, George Bush gave his final State of the Union address as President of the United States - which lasted about an hour... an HOUR just to address the sad state of affairs in this country at present. I wish I would've been the Presidents' speech writer. It would've probably gone something like this...

"My fellow Americans.......... everything's fucked up in the country right now mostly because of me. Thank you for coming out, God bless, good night."

Thought Of The Day

2008-01-25T22:22:00.000-05:00

Three to twelve...By now, unless you've been under a rock, you know that our government has called for an economic stimulus plan. Essentially, if all goes well, what this means is that come about late spring/summer time, many Americans will receive a check in the mail that will be a minimum of three hundred dollars with a maximum of twelve hundred. There is also a provision for families, of an additional amount of money for each child, in the neighborhood of three hundred. How much you actually receive depends on your household/federal taxable situation. This stimulus plan is all in an effort to help bolster confidence, avert fears of impending recession, and create jobs. I understand that the whole idea is to get people to spend the money they receive, so it will sort of jumpstart a sluggish economy. And for sure, there will be a lot of people that will spend every dime of the "free" money they receive. But I don't think it will be the big economic jolt that our government is expecting - at least if it all depended on me, there won't. Let's just say, because I am single, that I only get three hundred dollars. What is this - Boyz N Hood? The government is Furious Styles, and I'm lil' Chris. Three hundred dollars?! Man, that ain't shit!!...I can't even get a PS3 for that! But this ain't about having enough money to buy a PS3, or even an iPhone. There are bigger forces at work - and those forces are called "hard times." Many people right now seem to be stretching every little bit of money that they make, robbing Peter to pay Paul. If you're not going through it yourself, you know someone who is. I can't speak for what's going to happen with most checks sent out, but I'll tell you this - I live in high as hell California. I drive a ten year old car. And gas is 3+ dollars A GALLON!...I'm putting MY check in the bank! I mean, duuuhhh!!...

Joke Of The Day...

2008-01-21T15:52:00.000-05:00

The only good thing about the years flying by, is now, there's only one year left until you can have a bunch of negative shit purged from your credit report.

Damn, I thought Brett would do better than that!

2008-01-21T01:00:00.000-05:00

Comedians' log - date 1.20.08 (corny and uninspired, i know. But so what? It's Sunday, and I ain't even trying hard)...

Today was one of those days that, if you are a man, you probably considered a "man day." In fact, it was one of the few days out of your year that is to be considered one of your 'man days', because today were the conference championship games of the NFL. Oh yeah, that time of the year where many men across the country may become INTENTIONALLY seclusive from wives, girlfriends, friends, and other associates not understanding of the brevity of the day, for about seven hours. Seven hours of glorifying, gratifying, hard-core physical, pig skin brutality. We may watch the games from the privacy of our own home. We may watch the games over that persons' house who has the big plasma that you don't have in your own home. Or we may watch the games in a sports bar with other football fans - females and male fans of the sport alike. There are other sports, and other times of the year, where us guys become detached from real-life, for the sake of letting the testosterone surge. There's boxing, but even the most touted matches, are rarely worth the hype anymore. There's the NBA playoffs, but given the teams that make it to the finals, it may not get much attention (last years finals of the Spurs and the Cavs, supposedly drew the lowest ratings of NBA finals in some time). There's baseball and hockey, but they don't float everyone's boat. And soccer is the biggest draw all over the world, EXCEPT in America. Nothing gets it done like football and four teams vying for their chance to go to THE big game. I would go as far to say that the day of the conference championship games is the biggest 'man day' of the year - even more so than the Super Bowl. When you think about it, two teams in one conference, and two in another, trying to knock each others' block off, there's something beautifully simplistic in the brutality of it all. That's before the fashion show of the Super Bowl, and the Hollywood halftime show, and some of the estrogen charged commercials shown that day, that would never have a chance any other NFL Sunday. I won't even go into the Super Bowl house parties, where many people who wouldn't be watching football in other circumstances, crash and burn in their limited, and embarrassing display of football terminology, and team information. I mean, I'm no professional referee, but I will get the names right of the star players on each. Coincidentally today, I was talking to someone while the patriots were playing, and this person called the Patriots quarterback Tom Jefferson (okay, I'm exaggerating slightly for effect, but the person didn't the name 'Brady' correct...

...my whole weekend, even with extra day in tow because of the holiday, was centered around the football games on Sunday. They were pretty much guaranteed to be good games, given the matchups. I was ready for my 'man day' when I woke up Sunday morning to the early morning broadcast of Joel Osteen preaching from his congregation in Houston (meaningless side note: Joel Osteen comes off as a very likable and charismatic guy, but there's something scary about the number of times he blinks his eyes in just thirty seconds. What's up with that? But I digress...) I knew today that I had to get my haircut, and in order to be home in time for the first game at noon, I had to be out the house and at the barbershop in the ten o' clock hour. Thanks to smart planning, I was the first one in the chair, and on my way home by 11:30....Kickoff time, and I'm watching the game where everyone feels that the champions of Super Bowl XLII are coming from? This game wasn't as action intense as I thought it would be though. And let me know if it's just me, but did it seem as if Brady was trying his best to keep the game close? I mean three picks? Thrown by Brady? In the same game? It almost felt as if he was keeping the game close because he personally had money ridin' in Vegas on the Pats not making the spread. But I guess a win is a win, no matter how ugly it looks. But how about that second game? Now THAT was a game. I think most people would agree, that the more lead changes that you have in a game, the more exciting the game is, and the more it seems that the two teams are evenly matched. And with four lead changes in the game, it was game that didn't disappoint. And I'll tell you this. Winners or losers, those guys deserved every bit of money they made, and will continue to make. Because as skinny as I am, if someone was willing to pay me just to sit for three hours in -24 wind chill weather, I can't help ya - much less try to play football. My hat goes off to Eli Manning though. That guy has proven himself to be a quarterback with guts, and one who can slug it out with the best and deliver. They went into Dallas - and won. They went into Green Bay - and won. And it wouldn't be too much of a surprise to me if they beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl. They damn near beat them the last time they played. Not that Brett Favre was making it TOO hard for Eli. Did you see how horrible he was throwing in the game? What the hell was he looking at in some of those plays? The way I saw the game, Favre lost the game for the Packers...oh well, hope he can live with the fact that this game was his last shot at another ring - no way to make up for how lousy his game was. And even Tynes got the chance to redeem himself...

Papa's Boy (original poetry)

2008-01-12T23:40:00.001-05:00

voices of you like yesterday stuck in my mind-
a stir of echoes; memories most admired-
Bob Marley, Earth Wind & Fire you; been seasons-
since you became the earth, wind, and the fire

now the harsh wind blows bitter paralyzing
unrelenting truth; changing of the tides
ephemeral footprints in the sand i trace
to effect the morrow; stem the demise

of the eternal flame burnt in the name
of the father; conferred upon the son
the esteemed role of the protagonist
in the story of your duration

which is the sustenance of the epitome
of unrivaled character; breadth of niles
brilliance in your intelligent speak easys
sacrifices you made in your furious styles

and sometimes it seems I live
so much more for you than for me
not for the steam from out under the pot
but because you so deserved your dreams

Papa's Boy, made man of you
bred steeled against a societal harm
i soar by your insignia on my chest
and the protection in your coat of arms

so now in my mind lies the construct
pattern the archetype to delicacy
because in my veins flows the blueprint
to succeed my unborn legacy

and for all that you did, and for what remains
together for us to be done
and for the existence of which you had breathed for me
i honor the father with twenty one guns

Happy New Years!!!

2008-01-08T04:55:00.001-05:00

And so it begins. As we turn the page and leave behind all the events, newsmakers, triumphs, failures, and memories that three hundred and sixty five days can contain, a new year enters waiting for its history to be made. 2008-enter stage right. And we've already seen Britney Spears suffer yet another self-destructing, bulb flashing moment before the eyes of the world. Go Britney! She! Could! Go! All! The! Way!!..as for me, I just watched my home team of the Washington Redskins go down in flames against the Seattle Seahawks. Go Skins! Oh well, better luck next year, or next season I should say. This may not be their year, but I intend on making this my year. Of course this is the time of the year where resolutions are made so they can be broken next month. For those of you that will actually be able to stick it out, and lose the weight, kick smokin', or cut down on the money spent on porn, I congratulate you in advance. As for myself, I never really make resolutions - not at least according to any calendar. For anything that you can do on the first of January, is something that could have been started on the 31 of December or even before. But still, I think every New Year presents itself as the most logical moment to sit back and reflect on the past year of moments that will forever be remembered. And they are different for everyone. Honestly, I can say that 2007 was a pretty insignificant year for me. I went to Las Vegas on my birthday to see Toni Braxton perform. Cool..but can't wait till I'm able to travel somewhere like Hawaii, or an exotic location in some islands somewhere for my birthday instead. It's not often that I'm able to go home, but I was able to for Thanksgiving this year. It's always nice to go home, if nothing more than to escape the hurriedness of L.A. But I can't wait till the day where I go home, because I'm looking to lay low from a busy career - career being the operative word. But I guess the one thing that sticks out most important for me in 2007, is the loss of someone I knew back from my days of clubbing and kickin' it back in d.c. Actually, a friend of a friend, we were all cool together, and spent many nights out on the scene in D.C. What made his death different from that of my father, though an untimely death for my father as well, was his age. Though my father was sixty two, he was the same age as me and our mutual friend. We were all separated by months in age - she being the eldest, our friend, then me. When you are young, and someone your age dies, you can't help but to think how life can be so short, unfair,..and cruel. If you dwell on it enough, a familiar saying comes to mind - "There, but by the Grace of God..." Although Mike wouldn't want us to dwell on his death, I find myself somewhat personally connected to it, because we both had pre-existing medical conditions. He lost his fight with his...

...it's January 1, 2008, and I promised myself that I would call a good friend of mine's that I hadn't talked to in a long time. Actually, that decision to call him, was sparked by a conversation I had on the phone with someone we both know. How many times has that happened by the way? It took someone to say, "Hey, how's so and so doing?", or "When's the last time you talked to so and so?", which became the impetus for you to pick up the phone and call an old friend. This particular friend of mines, lives in Pennsylvania with his wife and two kids. Although, I hadn't talked to him in so long, that I expected maybe three when I called him. I tried to fool him and disguise my voice when I called, but he pegged me by the area code. Not too many people he knew out here in Cali. In the course of conversation, what I find out is, that people get easily lost in their own world, with their own life, and family, and work, that is somehow becomes difficult to just pick up the phone to say 'hi'. I'm guilty of that myself. A lot of people are. But when you got peeps hundreds, or thousands of miles away even, sometimes it's hard to stay connected to just the really close ones. You know what they say though - "out of sight, out of mind." But when we talked, we both found out that we were on each other's coast more often than we thought, and had the chance to catch up with each other in person more than we thought. Now we know. In the course of catching up with each other though, he of course asked how things were going for me. It's been a while since we've seen each other, and he knew of me coming to L.A. for industry. I basically explained to him, for the past several years that I have been going through experiences that have shaped the current path I am now. In essence, I realized starting three or four years ago, that it was time for me to concentrate on me - to start getting my life together, get it going, and to get it going in a way that works best for me. Since about that time three or four years ago, I've earned my Master's degree which I received in 2005. I figure I am a couple of months away from testing/receiving my brown belt in Aikido which I started in 2005. And I am now in the process of securing funding to start my business, which started with an idea in 2005. Anyone who might be reading this might say, "well, what about the comedy career?" The comedy career has not been forgotten, but getting my business going, which is directly related to comedy, has taken slight precedence. It's just that I've realized that I must put myself in a more accommodating position to pursue comedy well. I've realized that comedy will take time. And I've realized that in order to pursue it well, I'll need to be able be in control of my work time - eventually phasing out working a '9 to 5'. And I must do this while remaining strong, which is priority number one...I distinctly remember one of the last conversations with my father, in which a piece of advice in a matter of words, was to get going with my life and what I want to do, before I turn around and realize that my life's behind me. Realizing this, and in light of remembering those close to me that have fallen, it's most important for me to have a legacy established sooner than later. 2008 is a year destined to be a year teemed with excitement, and positive change for our country, and hopefully, most people. Personally, 2008 will be a year that will allow me to solidify purpose and accomplishment even if, God forbid, something stops me from achieving those goals I have my eyes set on in the long term. Carpe diem - that's the most important thing I've learned over the past couple of years, and I owe that to a couple of people looking down on me right now. Some of you might be thinking that I sound so serious for someone looking to be a professional comedian someday. Am I actually going to take some time to enjoy and do some fun things in 2008? To that I say, " I don't know." Ask me in New Year 2009 if I got a chance to do so in 2008. In my plan, I got time for fun as well, when the time is right. Right now I got a business and a legacy to build from the ground up...Wishing everyone a happy, healthy, and prosperous year....Happy Birthday 2008!!!...R.I.P. Mike...

Sick Song

2008-01-06T00:37:00.000-05:00

following are the lyrics to one of the sickest, if not the sickest
song, and one of the deepest songs in general by the only
band i listen to...give a listen sometime if you're not familiar

"The Little Things Give You Away"

Water grey
Through the windows, up the stairs

Chilling rain
Like an ocean everywhere

[Chorus]
Don't want to reach for me do you
I mean nothing to you
The little things give you away

And now there will be no mistaking
The levees are breaking

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you

And six feet under water
I
Do
[End Chorus]

Hope decays
Generations disappear

Washed away
As a nation simply stares

[Chorus]
Don't want to reach for me do you
I mean nothing to you
The little things give you away

But now there will be no mistaking
The levees are breaking

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you

And six feet under water
I
Do

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you

And six feet under ground now
I
Now I do
[End Chorus]

[Brad's Guitar Solo]

Little things give you away
Little things give you away
Little things give you away
Little things give you away
Little things give you away

(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you

(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you

(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you

(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you

(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you

(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you

(Little things give you away)

..and the 44th President of the United States is...not Barack Obama!

2007-10-23T20:31:00.000-04:00

So I'm off today(call it a personal holiday), and I figured since there's really nothing to do, because every one else is at work, might as well put pen to paper. I've been somewhat keeping an eye on the Presidential race of 2008, which just means that I know the main candidates in both Democratic and Republican parties. I think our upcoming American election will be the most interesting in history - in fact, I'm betting on it, figuratively that is. And just maybe literally as we come closer to 'E' day. But notice how I said 'interesting', as opposed to 'historic', or maybe even 'betterment'. When I say 'interesting' I mean more like, 'tellling' or 'unearthing.' Some of you may know where this is going already, as my blog title may have given it away. I'll say this first. I am an American. I love the fact that I am American, and I love the fact that God has blessed me with me being born in America, but especially being born after certain periods in the history of country. But before I am an American, I am black. In addition, I am a black male in America before I am an American, and therefore, I speak from that position first. Right now, I can hear the interjections of 'not another one of these', of 'get over it', and of 'why are black people so angry?' Well if you're one of those people with such interjections reading right now, I will assume that you are not black, and therefore can never understand what I am about to say. However, you may be able to understand somewhat if you are not black, but you are in an interracial relationship with someone black - but again, never entirely. The opinion that will be stated here is not coming from someone black who likes to take every opportunity to use 'the system' or blames every problem he/she has on 'the man.' This opinion will come from an educated black man who has who is at this point taking every opportunity provided to him by this country, to provide a better life for himself, and possibly any descendants. However, as a black man, the best education did not come from the prestigious classrooms of Howard University, or even my own father, who was one of the most intelligent, well read persons to have lived. Nor have I had to go beyond the borders of our country to travel, which they say serves as the best education. Yet the best education I have received, and continue to receive is the experience of being a black person in America. A country, though great with potential and promise, continues to suffer from the social cancers of racism, prejudice, discrimination and stereotypes, among other things. If you have half a brain, you know that racism still exists in America - even in 2007. I won't go into examples of racism in America, as they happen in instances everyday across the nation. And if you just sit and wait, soon enough, one particular instance makes national headlines. But this piece is not intended to focus on racism in America. It is intended to speak on the change that our country is supposedly ready for, despite the 'R' word in America. Exhibit A - I present the 2008 presidential race. Still early, the upcoming election presents itself as something that will become increasingly interesting as we get closer to primaries - and after the summer of 2008, guaranteed to be the hot topic spilling from the lips of most Americans. In one corner (the Republican party), we have Rudy Giuliani, the poster boy for courage, strength, resilience and heroism after 9/11. And then there's Mitt Romney, John McCain, Fred Thompson, and everybody else. In the other corner, we have Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, John Edwards, and everybody else. And oh yeah, there's Barack Obama. Senator from Illinois. Intelligent. Charismatic. Ambitious. Virtuous. Leader...Black. Notice that I had to say black. Not necessarily because I wanted to, though I am proud of/for him, as he is a credit to our race. But as it would be, 'black' is his most important characteristic, or at least the characteristic that defines who he is first, by this election and our country. Because let's face it, if you don't know Barack Obama's name by now, at the very least, you know that he is the 'the black guy running for President.' And if you are more familiar with Barack, you know he is attempting to do something that has not been done by any black male citizen of the United States, and accomplished by only three men of his age or less (Clinton, Kennedy, Roosevelt). First of all, I'll say this -that on primary day in California, I will be casting my vote for the 46 year old Obama. And if by some anomaly, Obama wins the Democratic nomination, then I will be voting for Obama for the next president of the United States. If not in just knowing that he can do no worse than Bush (I mean after all, I can do better than Bush with a dollar store calculator), then at least in knowing that many black people did not die in vain for the right to vote. Of course, I don't have to vote for Obama to respect the sacrifices these people made. I just, of course, have to vote. But, and however cheesy this may sound, I feel that by voting for Barack, I will help to effect the slow and tedious change that will one day lead to the first black president of the United States. And I believe that to be a part of Martin Luther King's dream...One day. Not 2008. Barack may be just as good as any other candidate for President, but right now America (and I am reading your mind America), he's not right enough to be your President. I know that Barack won't be President. There are countless other black people that know he won't become President. There are political analysts that know he won't become President. Hell, Rain Man knows that Barack won't become President. Let's take the obvious reasons. First, racism. There is still a lot of racism out there in America. A LOT!! Racism, evil, ignorance, and injustice. I'm not going to go through a Farrakhan tirade right now, but I'll just mention a few gems. The Jenna Six. Megan Williams(Woman Describes Horrific Ordeal). Michael Richards. Give it time, and it will be something else. The point being, that with all the ugly there is in our country, there is a lot of that ugly that has the right to vote. Even if you subtract the worst from the equation, you still have a lot of right wingers, those of the bible belt, who are traditionalists. God? Yes. Family Values? Yes. Gun Supporting? Yes. Black man leading their country? Are you seriously saying that to them with a straight face?...Second. This a very patriotic country and Barack has NO military service. NONE! So a patriotic country voting to office someone that will be commander-in-chief of our armed forces, with no military experience? I'll just leave you with that. Three. Barack is young. Really young in terms of that Presidential age. It's hard enough just being black and running for President, but couple that with convincing people older than you, that you know what's best for them? I mean, what would you think if someone half your age tried to give you any life advice? It would be hard for them to find an audience with you. Now apply that to the office of the Presidency of the United States of America and consider the many retiring baby boomers of our country. Again, consider our war heroes and vets. Now think to yourself. How often have you heard in the past, with someone being more than grown, married, and with family, someone else older professing that they were still a baby and didn't know shit - OR, still wet behind the ears...Exactly! The country has elected two people as young as Obama in the past, but for the first black President? I just don't see the country giving Barack a pass on the 'experience' at his age, for the FIRST black president. Talk to the country when you're doing Colin Powell numbers. Last, and probably most important, we allow race to be a subject of talk in this country, even to this day. Nearly fourty five years has passed since the march on Washington, and race is still an issue. It not only puts Barack on uneven ground, it puts every person of color in America on uneven ground. That's whether if you're black, brown, yellow, red or purple... I think Chris Rock, my idol, and one of the most talented, intelligent, and underrated comedians of our time said it best - as long as there is just the subject of race, there can never be true equality. I say, that after this election is over, that statement will never be more telling, as the endorsement of Obama by God himself, Oprah, will not be enough to raise him. However, with all its problems, America is still a good country. After all, we are free men, with free will, every one of us. And not everyone on this planet can say that. And with its checkered past, juxtaposed against a today, America has shown its ability to effect change, however slow and tedious. Today's change shows what great potential and promise this country can have tomorrow. So is it fair to assume however, that despite the issue of race, blacks (and other people of color) can make pioneering achievements? I thinks so. After all, it has already been done many times in the past. But can this country dare to dream of a day where race is not an issue, and even a black man can become President? Possibly. Just not for the 44th President of the United States.

Just a song i like

2007-09-09T22:32:00.000-04:00

Lyrics to a song that I like. Just a little insight into me, and how varied my tastes are. I guess as an amateur poet, I like the song because although the writing at first glance appears simplistic, it really is an exceptionally well written song. If you don't know the song, listen to it sometime. See if you like it.

SNOW PATROL LYRICS

"Chasing Cars"

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

B.E.T. cartoon

2007-09-03T15:07:00.000-04:00

Okay, so my boy DaVinci Parks posts this bulletin on Myspace yesterday about this BET cartoon. I'm curious of the "Please Watch and Discuss" title, and proceed to check out the bulletin, which was actually a two part CNN video clip reporting on a 'satirical hip-hop parody' cartoon that has aired on BET. The clip included interviews with the creators of the cartoon, and interviews and responses from critics firing back at the airing of this cartoon on BET. If you haven't heard about this cartoon by now, you can divine that it is causing a lot of controversy, hence the aforementioned critics. I am one of them. If you've seen the 'video cartoon', you know how bad the execution is. But for those who have not seen yet, the video seems to want to push literacy(among other messages such as buy land/real estate, drink water, brush your teeth, and use deodarant) a la the read-a-book campaigns. You know those read-a-book campaigns? They're usually national campaigns, where they get celebrities like Shaquille O' Neal to help endorse. And generally, you can find posters from these various campaigns hanging in the average library of many grade schools. Here's my problem with the so called hip-hop cartoon satire. Though "...sends a message" (as stated by the director of the video) is the intention, it does nothing much to increase a positive black image. In fact, it may have worsened it. One strong visual image in the video, among others, is one of a black woman bent over moving her junk up and down as if it was on hydraulics. Across her God given gift, the word 'Juicy' has been replaced by 'book.' In another image, we see a gangster, thug, or whatever you want to call him, load up a semi-automatic with a book as the clip, and 'fire' knowledge at his intended target. These were a couple of the striking visual images, but there are more. I've even seen what I assume to be an unedited version of the cartoon, which has explicit lyrics (cussing) on it. There are so many ways to discuss what is wrong with this 'cartoon', which if I decided to write about, would take up an entire editorial section of a major newspaper. I'll just talk about what seems to matter most in my opinion. First, BET's(owned by Viacom) stance and official statement on this whole thing, was that their intended demographic for this cartoon was 18-34, and the video "...was NOT part of any literacy campaign..." Problem 1 - from what I understand, this cartoon played during BET's most popular, bread and butter shows like Rap City, and 106th an Park. If anyone has seen 106th and Park, you know that this is a teen demographic. I as an adult, could probably count on one hand how many times I've watched just an excerpt of the show. And even though Rap City may be watched by people in the 'intended demographic' stated by BET, you know that there are many school-aged children that know the various rappers, and their lyrics better than the people of the intended age group. This means that they too, are watching the videos and picking up the lyrics(as well as the images). It's scary that many of these children know these rap lyrics backwards and forwards, but are not reading on their own grade level. So to play the cartoon video for the intended demographic during a time when the intended demographic probably isn't the group primarily watching (the intended demographic is prime time or later), either means that someone in charge at BET/Viacom's cartoon division is a complete idiot, and understood nothing in marketing 101, or their official statement is a bunch of crap. I'm going to go with the latter. Obviously, the airing of the video while the wrong demographic was watching, was intentional. For what purpose/reason, I'm not sure, and don't really care. Though for the creator of the cartoon and the director, who are both black, their probable and primary motive in this whole thing, albeit selfish as it would be, is that they are plucked from obscurity, and get tremendous media attention from the controversy. The creator and director say that it was not their intention. What bothers me so much is that the video, which "sends a message" and is not being presented as a literacy campaign, bares itself as nothing more than that "reflection of hip hop culture today", as stated by the director. The problem - our kids see enough wrong images. They don't need to see a cartoon parody of those same wrong images. I, as an adult over 25 (and whose brain has reached that physiological/chemical maturity because of that age), can look at this video and see it for what it is worth. A cartoon parody that WANTS to provoke thought. I see it, I get some entertainment value out of it, but then...nothing. I move on. It's something requiring no more thought, contemplation or time. After all, anybody and anybody whose 25 or older, or knows anything about hip-hop, knows that most of what is considered 'hip-hop' today, is not true 'hip-hop.' Call it rap if you want, but don't call it hip-hop. As a matter of fact, much of what is called hip-hop is garbage, and has no contributory value to society. Part of what makes hip-hop, hip-hop, is that it is sublime. There are those artists out there that are positive hip-hop artists, and I give them their props, but I digress. Kids (and a lot of young adults) on the other hand, see these images, and accept these images as a representation of the way life is, or the way it has to be. They listen to rap lyrics, and treat them as scripture almost. In our community, especially for our kids, we do not need to see a garbage parody of garbage. At the same time, we must take some responsibility on ourselves, and decide to take a stand on what is acceptable for our children to see. If our children at two years of age, can recite the lyrics they see in videos by 50 cent or Ludacris, yet they can't recite the first line of their ABC's, or even put their shoes on the right foot, it's time to turn the TV off! OFF! (Hint hint to the parents). Problem 2 - and this is directed more at the creator and filmmaker (and those that will follow in that general career path of entertainment) of the video. There's got to be better social responsibility. If you're in the position to present images or words to the world, you're in a very powerful position. No one of color who has this position is exempt, and even I, as someone who is choosing this path, must exercise this responsibility. Unfortunately, the image of our color, the image of the black man, the black woman, and the state of our community, is obviously not seen in a favorable light. That is an understatement. And I'm not just talking about the United States, I'm talking the ENTIRE WORLD! I have yet to travel abroad, but from what I understand of blacks who have, our image is horrible. We can't demand respect from others when we don't give it to ourselves. And there are those ignorant black people that will say, "who cares about what other people think of us?!" My answer to that is, "you SHOULD care." Understand that these images of us are what cause people to be afraid when a black man is 'following' them down a street at night, because we are all thug rapper wannabe's looking to earn street credit. Understand that these images make it easy for people like Don Imus to even think he can refer to a female college basketball team as 'nappy headed hoes', because too many of us are accepting of hearing or saying the word 'hoe.' These are the images that help to propagate negative stereotypes of blacks roles in film and television (Can anyone say, "only black character with speaking role in Little Miss Sunshine?") We can't expect more from anybody, than what we are willing to give ourselves. For the filmmakers of the cartoon video, if you wanted to send a message, which I assume was to be thought provoking, fine. Do it! But not like this. Execution is important, and as any woman will attest, presentation is everything. And this was just packaged and presented wrong. I mean, I know Viacom wrote the check, but how you going to let them punk you like Ashton Kutcher? There is one statement by the cartoon's director that I will agree with though, remarking "...the problem is bigger than just the cartoon. Fix the problem." That's very good advice and a very good point. Now here's my question. There's a song off this little 1987 album that suggests how to address fixing problems. The song is Michael Jackson's "Man In The Mirror." Have you listened to it lately?

Labor Day

2007-09-03T11:06:00.000-04:00

8:08 a.m., California time. Today is Labor Day, and I am determined to use this day in part to do some creative writing, and other things that I'm not usually able to do, like read. "But it's Labor Day!" you're saying. "And it's Labor Day in California! Shouldn't you be getting out, going to a barbecue or something?" To answer that, I'll say first, I'm not worried to much about the getting out for the sake of it. Right now in Southern Califorina, we are experiencing a ludacrith (yeah, i went there) heat wave. And I live in a particulary hotter area of Los Angeles called 'the valley' and it's hotter than the devils apartment on the top floor of a 40's apartment building with no a/c, and the structure on fire like The Towering Inferno. If I were to go to a cookout, I'm not sure which would be the BBQ, the food or the people. I'm content with staying inside under a/c, and trying to be as productive from there as possible (actually, I am suppose to be going out today to meet up with a friend I haven't seen in a while, and to do some homework for my business). Besides, I'm not big on the socialization with the locals. I really miss kicking it with real people from back home. I miss the fact that people say 'hi' or 'hello' just for the hell of saying it, and when you say 'hi' or 'hello', people don't look at you like you're crazy. I miss the fact that when people talk to you or show any kind of generosity, it is from the heart, and not because it will serve their own agenda. Fortunately, and unfortunately, a piece of me has had to die here, in order for me to have survived this place of madness for seven years....I started this book entitled, "Angry White Pyjamas" yesterday. It's about Aikido. Boring stuff to people who are not really into martial arts, but I of course study Aikido, so I would like to try to finish this particular book. It's hard to read anything more than internet news feeds, in these busy days and times. I honestly wish I had the opportunity to read more, but if there's a choice between reading and sleeping, it's smarter for me to choose rest...I know that I have not written in my blog since April, and thanks to my best friend who noticed, I am moved to update what is going on in my life which is everything, and nothing at all. There may be only two people in the world that can understand that expression. My best friend being one of them, and probably her mother. What it simply means, is that if this were True Hollywood Story, this would be the boring part of my life that not many would care to know about, until after I became who God has intended me to be. My biggest dreams are to become all I can become in life, but more specifically to become an entertainment mogul. From that, I hope to make as much positive change in the world that I can. For me, there's a methodical plan to achieving that. Generally, I don't say much about how things are going professionally to people, beyond "I'm still doing my thing." I tend to be that way, because I don't trust many to understand how much time, dedication, and patience goes into the particular field of work that I have chosen for myself. Most of my summer has been spent doing a lot of research for my business that I hope to start by May/June 2008. This business is in line with entertainment, which is all I'll say about that right now. I am still doing my comedy. Again, this will take time. But I have realized that in order to be able to pursue comedy and other goals of mine aggressively, I must not be rich, but I have to have financial independence to leave the 'bee worker job.' For the time being, getting this business up and going takes slight precedence over getting out to perform as much as possible. Two student loans with graduated re-payment plans, dictate that I must become proactive in my own financial independence now. Once I am sitting from a position where I do not need to work a 'regular' job, I hope to be able to go on the road (colleges, comedy clubs, and probably more often, shitholes) and do comedy. That is the real training ground, and this is where you really learn to hone your voice. Right now, I'm at that stage of comedy where you know how to write a joke, and you've made people laugh before, but now you don't know where you're going, who you are, or what you're doing. You're trying to inject who you are into your comedy, but you don't know what that is yet. Your comedy is soul-less still. Some days in comedy are good. Some are bad. I'm not looking to be the funniest in the comedy world. Just to be a really good comic that's different from everyone. From there, sky's the limit... until then, this summer for me, will be remembered for what is was. A summer (and winter), where because of hard work, I can add 'entrepreneur' to my resume next summer. A summer that will be remembered for the world losing all too soon, good peeps back home. And a summer where, thanks to spending time at a party in Vegas with my best friend, I learned that I need to learn to how to dance hip hop and ballroom - because apparently a guy with moves on the dance floor is a turn on and a really big deal with women. A bigger deal than most men probably consider... Dancing? Really? Hmnh! And all along I thought all I needed to attract women was the Axe effect...Bow Chicka Bow Wow!!!!!!!!!!

Original Poetry

2007-04-08T20:12:00.001-04:00

More of my stuff...this was written about 2004 (i think?)....

In2hernalization

how do i begin to pen, what i hold deep within
what is guarded by most men and kept away
of a fear of not being, and a dream not seen
which exists me, less Shawnte
and how do i start to define, one
whom in my soul and mental courses existential
to be able to give just viusal to the individual
whose design no one can attempt to stencil
but precious is that of her like mothers milk; sweet honey
in the rock, of the hardened world
God grips all that is dark in life with a fist
and in her, squeezes out a pearl
sweet soft spoken lullabies through gentle lips
angelic touched smile effervescence
shy lavender rose petals drifting on a flowing stream
which landscapes her very essence
and when posterity remembers its history
into beauty, it will film a face
Tamia's, Aaliyah's; Nefertiti's, Latifah Queenies
and forever, ****** will stake her place
a gift with blinding know wrapped under her bow
reveals her passion in unraveling like a loose suture
she fashions her inspiration, and gifts herself again
to deliver the promise to the future
most times i shudder to think when i see her
my words helpless to me at all
but my tensions escape from the very depths of me
to awkwardly find their fall
and ******less is the haunt of shattered glass
from which my mind seeks to be freed
"yes chris" from her lips, comprised in her eyes
is my insanity that desires to breathe
because a man stands just to stand
standing half a man if he stands alone
when what is cast in the mirror neglects to reflect
the half of his heart that is his home
so with my words divided by hands i clasp
i ask of whom i must ask when i speak
Lord grant me this priceless and special person
because perfection doesn't ever repeat
and if He should respond and ask of me
what just would make this right
i would answer back to Him, because i stand
on the precipice of the meaning of life

cmr

Original Poetry

2007-03-29T02:01:00.005-04:00

Just to have something new in my blog, because I haven't written in it for a while...but this is written for someone special in my life right now...

Tamed Heart

they say that you never know
what you got till it's gone,
tragedy it seems; you gotta lose what's right
to see where you went wrong
but a man errs, boy no more
passion of the chris, her name Kori
the story of a two ends not in the lesson
it's the lesson which writes the story
of chance encounter of two strangers
on a highway ventured many
i abide her ride, taking by her side
for our journey traveled plenty
through wanting words, intimate strokes
and melodic conversational song
we pour our souls into each other
from night until the dawn
with the beat of her different drum
against a very common today
i am soon seduced by her abstract beauty
wrapped in her accordian ways
thus deepening the meaning, the metaphorical umbilical
of an inseparable bond to evolve
i consume her through the air i breathe
and thank God for loves' resolve
'cause cut from the same, against the grain
to see her is to see me
to see us dance the music offbeat
to understand the technique that we speak
i am unscathed from the storm and the pain
and peace of her within me brings
my spirit croons the tune, amour everlast
immersed, i bask in her renewing spring
and despite wintry callous eyes of mine
of a world did impart
her light owns me, and she only
put the defrost on my heart
although days may number and grow on me
i am demeaned to schoolboy presence
irrepressibly giddy with thoughts of her
like the crush of adolescence
desire to re-write the only chapter
between we, anger of my admittance
it is not the heir that she had
it is the heir that he didn't
still, the history of us rises above
creation by us, the unsung storyline
every month our sweet november
i, her adam, she my caroline
life devoid of she, oxymoron of a martini
soul shaken, soul stirred
an existence reduced to eternal layover
passage, unfamiliar face, her voice unheard
to know she is truly my best friend
upon me, revelations of an old adage
the beating of two hearts seeking to rhyme in unison
was the impassioned marriage
and through our trials and tribulations
and the various chapters of our book
the subtext to be read between the lines
is the unwavering emotional hook
so as a man examines the root of change in him
from the inside looking out to see
what seen is not the hope that lies deep within
but the hope with her that lies with me

cmr

New Year, New Hopes...

2007-01-14T16:48:00.000-05:00

I have not written in my blog in a little over a month and I think it is because I was so ready for an old year to finaly come to an end and a new year to arrive, bringing with it a renewed sense of hope. In the cold months of winter, I look for a renewal, like the birth of spring, or the breath of life breathed again into someone that has ceased to exist. I can not lie and say, that although I have been brought through another year, 2006 was a year I was not to fond of for apparent reasons. With different eyes through the looking glass, someone could say that the glass of 2006 was half full, and not half empty. I am now the same age as Jesus Christ when He died on the cross, and if I live to see my next birthday, it could be very easily stated that my life is so blessed to have been given more time than Jesus. However, when He died, he realized his destiny as the Savior of the human race. More than anything, I still seek to define my purpose. It is the one thing that drives me to be more than anything than most people dream to be, or hope to accomplish. It is the fight in me that keeps me moving forward automatically towards accomplishment, almost as a computer program instructed to do so, despite personal demons. This year I have made my "resolutions." It is to bring myself closer to being in control of me, and the things that control how my life is defined. That of course is an on-going process. But more specifically, in the comedy world, I hope to gain some exposure to someone. To who? I'm not sure. To someone who might understand what I'm trying to do. Someone who believes in me. I will try to enter as many comedy festivals and competitions that I can this year in order to accomplish that. If I come away establishing management, or potential for management, then my goal in that area will be accomplished. Of course, being the mindful planner that I am, I also hope to have made a lot of progress on my small business start up. Hopefully, in the spring of 2008, I can add "entrepreneur" to my resume. Having my own business would mean that I have done something - created some kind of legacy. It would also serve as protection against the notion that even I, deserve everything that I could possibly dream of, and want in life. By the end of this year, I don't know how close I will have come to reaching those "resolutions" I have made for myself. Nevertheless, I have determined to keep reaching until I have complete success in one or the other, or both. To me, the purpose of my life has been left with mostly the fight, as other things have faded, fallen by the waistside, or have shown disappointment. The fight is what I have left to believe in, until such time that I am shown a reason to believe in something else. And until such time that I have accomplished what I seek to leave behind from my life, I fight...

The 'N' word. My take...

2006-12-02T21:30:00.000-05:00

Okay, so it's been a couple weeks since the infamous incident that happened at the Hollywood Laugh Factory, where Michael "Kramer" Richards spewed his racial tirade on the literal and world stage. It is still on the lips of many people, and has been the subject of talk in the news, and almost every other form of media. In my last blog, I made a little jokey joke of the probable reason that "Kramer" lost it on stage. Since that time, I have sat back, listened to all the buzz, talk, news, stories, comments, perceptions, beliefs, and what have you surrounding this one incident. Now that I have taken in all the stuff that I have heard from other people, I wanted to finally give my take. A few people that know that I do comedy, have either called me to talk about this, or have made mention of the incident to me, maybe to get my opinion. I haven't really made what I feel about the whole situation till now. First of all, I want to say that "niggers" aren't burning down Hollywood contrary to what may have been leaked to those people living in Kansas or possibly Kentucky. To my surprise, and not to my surprise, I have heard many people voice their opinion to the extent of understanding what Michael Richards did, or not understanding why this incident was such a big deal. First, I want to address what I honestly think of Michael Richards. I think Mr. Richards is the embodiment of racism in the worst way, as it exists in America today. It is the type of racism where blacks are tolerated in this country instead of accepted. It is the type of racism that disguises itself in the form of a smile and a friendly handshake - contrary to the way people openly voiced the way they felt about blacks in the 50's and 60's. Make no mistake, I am not saying that there should be a regression to a time where we were hosed, hung, bombed, beaten, raped, intimidated, spat on (among other horrible things), just for the satisfaction of allowing people to say what they really feel. I am simply saying that in some ways, racism is worse today than it was, because racism exists today as the proverbial sheep in wolf's clothing. As for Mr. Richards personally, after seeing his outburst on stage, I do feel he is a racist. I hate labeling him like that, with racist being such a strong label, but it is what it is. This was confirmed in my mind after seein him his "apology" on David Letterman. I was watching that night just to see what he was going to say, and then he said the word "Afro-Amerian." Now before I go on, I want to say that part of the reason I am writing this blog is to try to explain to whatever people who aren't black, and are reading this, how WE see, and know things to be...now, when Michael Richards said "Afro-American", I knew he had issues that had been there for quite some time. First of all, when was the last time someone said the word Afro-American? Jesse Jackson was marching, and Martin Luther King, Jr. was beside him. Afro-American is a word relegated to a certain time period in our country's history. It is relegated to a time where blacks were treated in the aformentioned way. I'm not exactly sure how old Mr. Richards is, but my guess is that this [mindset] surrounded him closely - likely growing up in his house as a kid, or adolescent. Him saying the word Afro-American just goes deeper than a couple of unfavorable incidents with some black people. After seeing the tape, and the apology, do I hate Michael Richards? No. I could care less about Michael Richards. More than likely, his career ended the day he spewed. He was a muti-millionaire before, and still, he will maintain being a multi-millionaire off the residuals of a show, where he played a character I personally feel, became old hat quickly. I am perturbed by the way he spewed like he did on Friday night, only to be standing next to Jesse Jackson on Monday morning or whatever day it was the next week. It doesn't make it seem sincere, it just makes it seem that you can get Jesse Jackson or whoever to wave the little black people wand over us, to make everything gravy again. Like I said, I hold no real animosity towards Michael Richards, I just know, as most black people know, that this is what A LOT of people (and a lot more than people are willing to admit) think about and wish they could say to us in these politically correct times. For Michael Richards, if he truly wants the help, and if he truly wants to change, I hope he gets the help, and all this isn't another character performance...
Now, to address the 'N' word thing. I've been listening - whether it be to some fellow comedians, or other people who gave their two cents worth on the radio. First to address the side as a comedian. I've heard some comedian feedback ranging from, "why isn't anyone saying anything about the hecklers? Richards was only defending himself", to "why should he be labeled a racist just because he said the 'N' word? Black comedians (and black people) can, and say the 'N' word, why can't white comedians do it?" Let's break that down...first, as a comedian, and more importantly a PROFESSIONAL comedian, there is that level of professionalism that you are required to maintain, and a line drawn that you have to respect, that Mr. Richards not only crossed, but jumped off the side of the mountain with. Make no mistake, comedy is not easy but heckling is part of the job. A skilled, talented and experienced comedian is able to control a room well, and deal with heckler situations when they arise. Some comedians outright embarrass hecklers forcing them to shut up. Some are more playful in their control of heckling. The point is, as a comedian, no matter what a heckler may say, you the comedian are the professional. You don't see someone walking into McDonald's complaining about their food, and then the manager firing back with expletive, expletive, expletive. I haven't personally seen Mr. Richards act, but the rumor is he isn't funny. Just last night, I was listening to a radio program in which Aries Spears of Mad Tv fame appeared. Obviously, they got around to the Michael Richards incident. Aries mentioned that if a comedian doesn't know how to handle heckling, or at the very least, doesn't want to own up to the act that heckling is part of the job, then it's time to put the mic down. Maybe this outburst was Richards concession to that. As for the comments that Richard made that night, I have heard a lot that if Richards wasn't famous, this woudln't be as big a deal. That may be true, but it still doesn't justify what he said. There are many that seem to think that what Richards said was matched by what the hecklers fired back, calling him "cracker ass." First, the word cracker was said in response to something that embodied hate. On the video itself, Richards says, "fifty years ago, we would've had you upside down with a fork up your ass." There are SOME people in the background, laughing to something that's not funny. The fact that some of the people were laughing at that, to me, exposes what they really feel and think inside, but never dare say in these politically correct times. Second, the word "cracker" is no where near steeped in hate to the degree of the word "nigger", which is a scar of America's historical cancer. Nigger was surrounded by fire hoses and lynchings. Cracker was simply a word used to describe those people that were racist against blacks. The word "cracker" may stem from negativity that albeit, was put there by people who called us the 'N' word, and fired hosed and lynched us. And then there are those that say, "well how come black people can say the 'N' word, and white people can't?" A better question would be, why would somebody white want to be able to say the 'N' word? I have two opinions on this. One, you want to be able to say something that you already feel deep down inside, or it's a way of having the feeling of "getting over." I must admit, I have used the 'N' word most of my life. There are many a black people using the 'N' word. My grandmother used the 'N' word. I have known intellectual professors that have used the 'N' word. Does it make it right? Maybe not. That's a discussion for another time. But saying the 'N' word amongst ourselves, still we don't use the word with the intent as it was used by Richards. I have an Asian comic friend who uses the 'N' word, not because he means bad intent. It's because he actually thinks he's black. The word "nigger" has a definite, specific intent and accepted understanding in this country, as opposed to the word "nigga." Why is everyone so concerned about what we do, and the 'how come they cans' and 'how come we can'ts?" As I am writing this, just last night, I was at a mic that is hosted by an Italian. He used the word "goomba." I heard it fly a couple of times. Why isn't anyone dying to say the word "goomba?" There are some American born Latinos in this country that have problems with some illegal immigrants that would just as soon use the word "wetback." Why isn't anyone dying to say that? This brings me to my second opinion of why people are dying to say the 'N" word, which however ridiculous it may sound, just may hold water. And that is, it brings people that much closer to being us, without them actually having to be us. I truly believe that this country is in love, secretly or out front, with our strength, our beauty, and our style. Need examples? How about women getting botox injections for fuller lips? Augmentation of the hips and buttocks? How about the fact that the hip hop culture has influenced much in this country - from dress and what is fashionable to drive, to terminology. BG came out with his rap song, "Bling, Bling" in 1999, and now they're saying 'bling, bling' at the red carpet Oscar ceremony. I can go so far as to say that there is envy in the fact that we took a hateful word used against us, and made it our own. You may not agree with this, but what remains that is undeniable, is that there is still much to be examined and resolved in terms of racial harmony in this country. And it's not just about our [blacks] race. I was reading a news story off the internet, that stated a radio host in Washington, D.C. staged a hoax, stating that all American Muslims should be visually identified with a crescent moon tattoo or armband. On that topic, he received numerous anti-Muslim calls - some stating that it should be taken further than that...there is still much to do in this country. Like or not, we are all here together, and I don't think any particular race plans on going anywhere. I don't have the answers as to where we begin to solve our racial differences in this country. I just know that it needs to be done. Until such time, America will never be the land of equality that people are told it to be.

You know what I think?...

2006-11-21T02:59:00.000-05:00

You know what I think?.... I think a "nigger" f****d Kramer's woman, or Kramer's woman left him for a "nigger." I'm not even joking, I'm so sincere...

Borat

2006-11-11T23:15:00.000-05:00

Okay, so you know how you say all the time that you're too smart to fall for slick marketing, and clever advertising right? Of course you know. I have said it myself a million times that I'm too smart for that. And I would like to think of myself as a prettty smart person - not Cornell West smart, but smart enough. And no fancy jingle, or original commercial could control my behavior, making me want to spend my dollars on some product or service. Does this mindset hit close to home with you as well? I'm sure it does. For me I learned an important lesson in marketing. Of course I have known that much of what goes into marketing is psychological - to make you feel cool; to make you feel accepted; to make you feel young; to make you attract women; to make you attract men, blah, blah, blah. But what I have learned that is more important, is that no matter how much control you have over yourself(or think you have over yourself) when it comes to marketing, if you wait long enough, eventually some thing will come along in marketing that will seemingly be specifically directed to you as an individual or part of a sub group, compelling you to act. So along comes this movie called Borat. Now when I first heard of this movie, which was either in a trailer or commercial, I'm thinking to myself, "Yakov Smirnoff Redux." I'm not really feeling it. Doesn't interest me at all. Of course, being the movie connoisseur that I am, when I hear favorable reviews from critics on a movie(be it a film in any genre), it makes me perk up my ears a little bit. After all, if I decide I want to see a certain movie, I would like to feel my money won't be wasted. So this movie called "Borat" opens in 837 theaters and makes 26.5 million dollars on it's opening weekend. That is OUTSTANDING! There are big time Hollywood productions with big time Hollywood stars that don't hit that mark on opening weekend. But what you have to understand is that many big Hollywood films open on an average of 2,500 to 3,300 screens, depending on how "big" the movie is. Pound for pound, Borat opened in excess of 80 million dollars. This is something I learned after the fact, so this is not what drew me in to see Borat. What made me want to see Borat, was a commercial for the movie after its opening weekend, stating "Could he [Borat] have made the funniest movie of all time?"...Excuse me? Did that commercial just say what I thought it said? The funniest movie of ALL TIME! If you're with me, you know where I'm about to go. "Of all time" is a huge, HUGE statement to make, number 1. And number 2, and this is where the marketing applies to me - there's NO WAY any comedian can hear that, and restrain himself from seeing what's up with that, never mind any other person besides a comedian. A bold statement as such, would naturally be challenged in the eyes of any comedian, because you're putting it in the company of movies such as Beverly Hills Cop, Coming to America, and Trading Places (and we all know who starred in those films). So I have already in my mind decided to see this film. Add to that, I was talking to some of my Aikido buddies, I find out that this Borat guy is actually a character, done by Sacha Baron Cohen. If you don't know this name, maybe you know another character he does, Ali G? I had seen this Ali G guy a couple times through the Ali G show, but I really didn't know he was supposed to be a character. I just thought he was some kind of lame wannabe. So the fact that there's this small cult following of this guy, or at least of his characters, I want to know what's the big deal...so today I go see Borat. From what I understand, the movie was shot documentary style, meaning that subjects in the movie, didn't know that the Borat character, was just that, a character. So supposedly, supposedly, these people are responding with plausibility to the wild, crazy antics and statements made by Borat. I don't know how true that is. If there are any unscripted moments,I think the movie makers do an excellent job at blurring those lines between what is real and what is scripted. Nevertheless, there are funny moments in the movie as Borat explores America, delving into among other things, southern conservatism, American idolotry, the role of women in society, and influeces in our country from "da hood"(Purposeful digression: it's always funny how when there's a camera around, that seems to be an excuse to say the word "nigga." Quentin Tarantino likes to drop it like it's a release for him, and Borat says it, although he says it only once. Oh well, if you dish it, you should take it). There are moments where the movie is out there. And when I say out there, I mean OUT THERE. And there are moments where the gag is either tedious, or it fails - there are much more funny moments than not. Now, for that funniest movie of all time thing - I will say this. I will say that Borat may arguabley lay claim to the funniest scene of all time in a movie. If you haven't seen the movie, I won't give it away. I'll just say, if you see the movie, you'll know it when you see it. But I wouldn't give it the funniest of all time for this reason: because the notion of exploring what may be taboo in our country is nothing new or creative, whether it be a broadcast journalist, a man in character, or any other means of execution. Borat does however push the edge, exploring in a ballsy way, and the movie even makes a statement at the end, however small it may be. I can say that I enjoyed the movie and found myself laughing a few times. If I had to grade that, I would give it a B+...but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out how this Borat guy was able to get away with some of the anti-semitic material in his movie, and this being a Fox distribution, and NO outcry from the Jewish community. How the hell did that happen? It wasn't until I had come home, where upon stating to my Jewish roommate that I think Borat hates Jews, he clues me in stating, "dude, he's Jewish." Ohhhh, okay. No wonder. I wish somebody would tell me about these things...

(Bitter)Sweet November

2006-11-10T01:06:00.000-05:00

Okay, so it's November, and the year is almost over. Can you believe it. Years fly by when you're a grown-up. When you were a kid, a week till Christmas was forever. But now that you're a grown-up, time is measured in a different way. If you're anything like me, time is internalized by paycheck to paycheck. You know that for every second paycheck you get(or every fourth, depending on how you get paid), you know that's a month right there. And it's always about getting to the next payday...anyway, since the year is almost over, it seems appropriate, at least for me, to look back over the year that is almost gone, and reflect - to take some of those personal experiences and more or less, see what life has presented you in those ALMOST 365 days...I happen to be an aficionado of contemporary movies. I don't care what genre, as long as the story and production are good, I'm into it-even if it's a romance movie. Hey, I'm a film production major. We live for the story. Anyway, one of my favorite movies happens to be Sweet November starring Keanu Reeves and Charlize Theron in one of films before she officially "blew up." It's not the typical romance movie, like Titanic or Love Jones. It's quirky, I guess you could say, so it fits me and my personality. If you like romance or just like a good story, I highly recommend it. Without saying much about the story, it's about realizing the important things in life... Of course, anyone knowing me, it comes as no surprise that I lost my father this year. Losing my father has been without a doubt the biggest and most regrettable experience this year. Sweet November was bittersweet, and though the death of my father was the hard crunchy bittersweet outer shell of life, there have been a few days of my life this year that have presented themselves as the small sweet inside filling of that bitter crunchy outer shell. So I have decided to call this blog Bittersweet November...I have thought about my father many times since losing him in March. And of course there have been times where I just wanted to pick up the phone and call to talk to my father. To me one of the worst parts of losing someone is that you can still hear their voice clearly in your head, feeling almost like you just talked to them a couple days ago - and it stays there I guess forever. I guess that would be obvious since people are there your whole life until...I guess someone's voice just becomes more distant over time, given I think of other people who are now gone, and I think of them on occasion. Not so with my father...Sometimes I think about what I'm supposed to take from this experience of losing my father. There are lots of times where I can be cynical and say to myself that it was my turn. They say into every life, a little rain must fall. People die everyday, and it was just my turn. Why not me? Call me cynical, but call me a realist... Still I feel that my father got shorted. There are so many men and people in general that will never live their lives as honorable and upstanding I felt my father lived. When he left, the world didn't know this honorable man. As I write this, we lost two black men this week - Ed Bradley, and Gerald Levert. The world will remember who they were and mark this occasion if even only for a week or a day. However, as far as I'm concerned, because I am alive and as long as I am alive, the world too, will know who my father was. They will know his strength through me. They will see the result of his sacrifices through me. Though my father will not be alive to see, I owe it to my father to take my life as far as I possibly can. In my mind, I share with him the success I intend to have, with whatever hopes and dreams he had for himself, never mind me...On the last album he did(The Black Album), Jay-Z has a track where he pays homage to his mother. On the track he states, "Ma, you made the album. How crazy is that?" To that extent, the same could be said of my father - he already made the album, I just have to make the track...November has gotten me to look back at a bitter pill that I have had to swallow this year. Nevertheless, I would be remiss to not acknowledge and give thanks to God for the things that came together for me this year, and as the year closes out. My giving thanks is for new place that I was able to move into this year...for a new job that I got...for passing my kyu exam... for the continued breath of life...for making strides out here in California...for.......

Why ignorance(and racism) still exists...(editorial)

2006-11-08T23:31:00.000-05:00

(this blog was originally started September 4, 2006...)

Okay, so yesterday I had to pick up my roommate from the airport, as he was returning home from a friend's wedding in Baltimore. As we're returning home, I am playing Donnell Jones' cd, "Where I Wanna Be." Anyone familiar with the cd, knows it's a coo cd. As we're driving home, my roommate proceeds to turn down the music, and asks me a question to the extent of why that particular artist(of course, he didn't know who Donnell Jones was) was able to get away with singing songs that he deemed "pussified." I didn't understand what the hell he was getting at. I thought that he was trying to say that Donnell Jones was gay or something. Clarification of his question, led to him to state that he thought black men were supposed to be "hard", and that the type of singing that Donnell Jones was doing, was against the image of the black man. At first, I thought he was really joking around. Really. In jest. But I soon realized that he really believed, and bought into some of the stereotypes of black men, pumped by the media into our country. I guess because what is being shown in rap videos, what is being shown on COPS, or whatever else in entertainment and sports, has presented itself as the "black man image" to those persons that aren't black. Apparently, as he saw it, or as it has been "brainwashed" to him, all black men are supposed to be "hard", amongst other things that he probably feels that black men are supposed to be like, for sure. I had to correct him on black men (and our race in general) having strength - not to be confused with being hard. Black people in my opinion (and any other black person would agree, I'm sure) are the strongest people that God ever created. Period. We had to be, in order to have survived the greatest crime of the perpetration of genocide, rape, and forced servitude, committed by one race against another. And that was just slavery. Never mind our civil rights struggle. And WE came through that. And the fact that we came through that to still produce the best inventors, doctors, educators, leaders, scientists, politicians, religious leaders, fill in the blank, gives us a strength that is incomprehensible to others. We wear our strength, our legacy, with pride. But there is a difference between having stregth, and being "hard." Strength is what got us through those four hundred plus years of slavery, and those numerous years of civil rights struggles. Hard is something that unfortunately, has been allowed by SOME males in our community to define what a real black man is. Hard gets people killed. Hard gets people put into jail. Or if you're The Game, a rap career(by the way, only a real man knows what a real man is. Only a real black man knows what it is to be a real black man). What is most unfortunate, is the fact that the notion of what is "hard" to few, is taken and promulgated as the image of what a black is(or isn't for that matter) by the media. Mind you, blacks own very little media, of any form. So as a black man, I was bothered by the statement of my roommate. What also bothered me was the notion that a black man singing, instead of rapping, got deemed as kind of soft, gay, or pussified - which is a slap to the face of our song. That part about our culture that allows (has allowed) us to express our beauty, our joy, our pain, our hopes, our dreams, our love, our story - and it goes back to the drum. In order for me to get my roommate to understand the ignorance in the statement he made, I asked him if he knew who Smokey Robinson was? Marvin Gaye? Would you dare to say that those men were "pussified?" Or gay? Or less than a man in any way, even though they are two legendary soul singers? Because a statement as such towards a black male soul singer, is insult to those greats, and countless others. Do I think he is racist? No, far from it. He is a good person and intelligent. Too intelligent to be a victim to the ignorance that pervades our society about our race. I'm not sure, but if I was betting man, I would say that I'm probably one of few black men(if not the only one) that my roommate knows as more than just an acquaintance. And I just happen to be a black man with a master's degree and no kids. I don't sling or do drugs. I don't have ANY criminal record. I'm not "hard", and I'm not gay. Where's the promulgation of that African-American image? Probably buried under the booty shaking video of yet another rapper. So where do we as black people start, in order to change the images of us that are held by more than a few in our society. First of all, if you're black and you're reading this, we all know that is still racism in our country, and that there are mamy ignorant racists that are open about the ignorant ideals, and creeds they believe and follow. Though black people appreciate their out and open honesty(because the worst racism comes in the form of a smile), these people are generally not worth the time, effort, and energy for helping or changing. Beyond that, you do what you can as a person, within the means you have. If you have white friends, and they make ignorant statements, correct them. What they say, might be maddening at first, but more than likely, they are a victim to not knowing any better - or believing the hype. Once corrected, let them know. Think about what they say out their mouths around black folks. The next time, the wrong(or stupid) thing said, could garner an asswhooping, or unwelcomed looks. Besides that, we need to take control of the images presented of not only black men, but black people in general. Of course I understand that we're not all Puff Daddy's(or whatever he wants to call himself now), Oprah's, Cosby's, or Jay-Z's. I say that to say that our black royalty have the power, and financial means to help support and promote more positive images in our community(again, realizing that we don't own to much media). Obviously they can do that to extent greater than the "average" African-American. But if you are an "average" African-American, it is possible to help as well. We can start by refusing to support movies like "Soul Plane." Start telling our kids to be the owner of the label, or the team, instead of the rapper, or ball player. Stop fighting each other and hating on each other's successes. Start helping, and caring for those that are misguided and need direction or help. I could go on endlessly about how we begin to take control of the images presented of us, and thus what people think about us. The point is, as an individual, it starts with one. Collectively, it starts and ends with us as black people. We CAN NOT rationally expect some other group of people to do our cause...there is a scene out of the movie Malcolm X, where Malcolm X is standing outside on the grounds of a university. A white female student approaches Malcolm X, and expresses her interest in things he has said after having seen him speak. She asks what she can do to help, to which Malcolm X replies, "nothing." Malcolm X had it right. It is up to us, and us only to address the concerns of our community. We must answer the bell that tolls for our action. If nothing else, we owe it to our ancestors that died so that the true image and strength of our people could live on.

Original Poetry

2006-09-03T21:49:00.001-04:00

Okay, so I was thinking that I don't have to blog only when there's something I want to talk about. I can also use this as a way to write and display my original poetry. I thought about that when I was listening to a poetry cd by my boy in my car, as I was driving to pick up my roommate from the airport. The following are some original pieces of mine, and hopefully, more original pieces will follow. Not as strong in poetry as my boy, but I think they're okay. Hope you enjoy...

I wrote the following piece(circa mid 90's) for someone I really liked named Dilcia..they call her Dee Dee

If Only To Be With You

now if I could change the alphabet
i would put "U" and "I" together
"A" and "L" would never be letters
you need concern yourself with
all the mo' better,
blues..
you see, I guess you could say I gotta love jones
or didn't you know, for the shade of two-tone
of a lady born of African & Dominican
mixed like some juice and gin, on my tongue
I want to taste you
and savor something far more greater
than Baskin Robbin's 31 flavors
and not to be biting on Lauryn
but the sweetest thing i can ever see
is your divine and delicate face in front of me
the hell with your man, whoever it may be
because I'm no longer wanting to continue the disguise
of quick glances to you when i pass you by
but rather to act upon my instincts
of trying to bridge a common link
or bond,
between us,
of trust, love, and lust
and if Ginuwine rides the pony, then i ride the stallion
ain't no troop, platoon, or army batallion
can stop me from going after the medallion
the prize
of 'yes, Chris" in your eyes
those two words that you could say to me
i could take as my untarnished trophy
and how is it that you choose to have your love served
may i take your order
let's see, a couple served
1 of me
1 of dee
and um, let me see
oh yes, an order of this romeo beyond all compare
never 2 many small ways to show i care
1 largely devoted man who you can roll and be down with
hold the games, the lies, the cheating, and all the bullshit
and a satisfaction guarantee
to fulfill your every need
and that's not to go, but for here, to stay
now & forever
give you my everything, to treat you as my national treasure
baby, you don't ask for much at all
outside of wanting to be treated like Cinderella at her ball
and if that will be all i gotta do to make you mine
well just direct me to the dotted line
where i sign
your name across my heart
because you see, it wouldn't be any problem for me
to walk the ends of the earth in countless miles
just to catch one more glimpse of your infectious smile
no hesitance, to spend one moment in your presence
but until then, in order to right the wrong,
of the prolong,
of me being with you
if only to be with you
will be my song
to keep me moving along
until the day that i am with you

i wrote the next piece dedicated to my brother Franklin Delano Reese, Jr. (1972-2000)
written the last week June 2000...

Love, Your Brother Chris

...and to the very last moment, you held
when someone whispered you were gone
and angels took flight upon heaven, add one
you had found a new home
and even as i write this
it's hard to speak what i feel
but i can say i find the greatest comfort
in knowing you are no longer ill
still my hopes were on keeping you here
my prayer, "God, help my brother please!"
for this is more than enough for one person
diagnosis - diabetes, ataxia, mitochondrial disease
limited by earthly things
chained by the sickness you wore
now you're free to run, jump, even fly to heart's content
you're at play in the fields of the Lord
SO LET YOUR SPIRIT SOAR!!
yet i'm left to handle what i feel
which right now, remains to be undone
i struggle with the thoughts that leave me
tired to lost to melancholy, shocked to feeling numb
and sometimes, feelings overwhelm
half guilt, the other half cheated coldly
because God never told me
to bang the drum slowly
we often take for granted
that tomorrow is a given
but my tears on yesterday's pain
go to show, that even today, isn't
but if there's one thing i take with me
and that's your legacy to us all
is that in life, you play the cards you're dealt
and you stand up after the falls
so i will remember how you liked to laugh
and by your WWF kings of the ring
how you enjoyed the simple pleasures in life
these were a few of your favorite things
they say the world's a stage
and in our lives, you played the biggest part
because even though you're no longer with us
you are forever in our hearts
still it's hard to find solace
in a circumstance that somehow went wrong
because half of what i was, half of what's to be
half of what i am, is forever gone
until the day i see you again
where like kids again we'll be, and more than this
signed, sealed, delivered
and i'll see you when i get there...

love,
your brother chris

the following piece is self explanatory...

Priorities

like money,
love God

the following piece was written and dedicated to Shawnte...

8.12.03

it is the birth of another dawn
a genesis, and life starts anew
but special is this day from others
because today, from you, the world takes its cue

bright star to luminous 1
the sun burns to equate to your radiance
the warmth of today is Shawnte
while the world moves to match your cadence

the beauty of u lies in the start
of doves that take flight untamed
and the spirit of them become apart
of the wind that carries your name

like a sunset flung across forever
life imitates the art of you
brushstrokes of your inspiration
that people are resigned to view

and tonight, you are written across the stars
heavenly bodies mirror an earth bound soul
every living thing breathed the beauty of Shawnte today
and it was you they came to know

I can't believe it, today was a good day....

2006-08-31T10:46:00.000-04:00

You ever had one of those days, where it was a really good day? Not just a good day, but a REALLY good day? I guess you could say that I had one of those days yesterday - beyond that of a day that's just, "okay, I woke up, I'm alive." And so yesterday, our job pulls what I thought was a shocker, especially since in the back of my mind, I'm always thinking about how top tier at my job, don't really appreciate the drivers of the company. They don't pay us nearly enough for what we do, but, BUT, I guess I can now say that at least after yesterday, I feel a very small sense of being thought about, since they shut down the job yesterday, and had "Driver Appreciation Day" at Magic Mountain. And like I said, my job doesn't like to give up on the money, and for them to spend even what have may been a dollar, on us peons, is a shocker to me. They may not have spent that much, getting a coporate deal on a bunch of tickets for some of its employees, a meal package for them as well, with a coporate type entertainer that does that "family" type entertaianing, while we eat. Okay, I will admit, it was cool - at least the free ticket, and the grub. Would have been better if they would've set it up for us to go on a holiday, or a weekend, where I could have actually used a free ticket to bring someone else with me to the park. It's kind of difficult to find someone to go with, when it's on a workday. But oh well, beggars can't be choosers. I'm a roller coaster fiend, and since I hadn't been to the fun park in some time, I'll roll on my own - sometimes its better that way than having someone with you, whose punk ass doesn't like to ride anything. And I ride it all - at least I ride all the roller coasters. No games, no buying that overpriced crap they call food, no souvenir shopping, not even trips on the water rides - though it was hot, and I would have rode, if someone would've came with me . My entertainment value though, comes from getting on as many roller coasters, in as short as time as possible. I know I have a timetable set for myself today anyway. I have to leave the park early, 'bout rush hour time, 'cause today is an important day for me. The amusement park is just the beginning, in a day that will present itself with an opportunity by its' end. 'Cause when I leave today, I have to make my way over to the IceHouse comedy club, to get taped for Comedy Time television. I'm not too knowledgable about Comedy Time. I know that they are legit. I know that they are a company, part of other companies I guess, that provide "cable" like entertainment on cell phones. People have to subscribe to the services, in order to receive all the entertainment on their phone...I'm pumped, 'cause the way I came into it, is almost like a miniature True Hollywood Story story, and a very miniature "discovery" of me. I did a best of the valley contest about a month ago. I did two rounds - a round to qualify to go to the finals, and the final round of course. I didn't place in the final round, though I thought I should have, third at least. Oh well, that's comedy. So flashback to Monday. Going through my website email, I find an email from some dude at CMT. He also calls my home phone, while I'm out that day on a job interview. Hmm, okay, who the hell is Comedy Time, I'm thinking. I hit him back, where he proceeds to tell me the deal about CMT, and that he actually searched me out from that competition. But what is really sweet, is what he proceeds to tell me afterwards. That he wants to tape me in the main room of the IceHouse, which if used, would be broadcast on those phones that carry those channels. Not only do I get twenty five dollars (are you kidding me? perform a set at the IceHouse, and get gas money?), a tee shirt, and the opportunity to perform in front of the owner of the IceHouse, and possibly an industry development guy, but I get "good tape." Good tape is a term us comedians use to describe doing a set at a big name club, with the club logo in the background to authenticate, and getting a copy of that set. Good tape is so hard to get, because it's hard enough as a nobody comic to get on a stage at a real club, but to get a copy of that with that comedy club logo in the background, AND to have a great set, AND for the copy to come out nice, without no loud background, no technical difficulty, is HARD TO GET!! The planets have to be aligned right for all this to happen. But comics looking to get more exposure have to have it, and I know that I will get a copy of the set I will do tonight. All I have to do is make it a good set - no matter how big or small the crowd. Good tape is the objective, so I can throw it up on my website...As I stand in line all day at various roller coasters at Magic Mountain, I go through my set, over and over again, until it is au-to-matic! I edit mentally in my head as I need to, to get the set right, perfect. The only time I'm not thinking about the set, is when I'm pulling G's on Tatsu. After getting my share of roller coasters, or at least riding all the roller coasters I wanted to ride (Tatsu, Deja Vu, Revolution, Viper, Riddler's Revenge, Scream, Ninja, Batman, Goliath). Okay, I've accomplished what I wanted. I've got my fix. Now it's about 5 p.m. The plan - make my way home real quick, settle down to make the transition mentally to my performance tonight, and leave early enough to get there by 7:30, even with L.A. traffic. I get home, mapquest my destination, grab my digi video cam, in case they bullshittin' about giving us a copy of the set, and head out the door at six. I get there about 6:45 and I kick it, shootin' the shit with other comics as they arrive for the show - seven of us total. During those in-between times of talking to the other performing comics, I go through my set again and again, till in my mind, it's how I want to perform it, and then I let it go. Well before the show starts, we receive our twenty five dollars, and our free drink ticket. I use mine's to get a bottle of water - about ten minutes before I hit the stage. Gotta make sure the mouth ain't dry, but this set is too important to use the ticket to get alcohol. Don't want to be too relaxed and make a mistake. Gotta be as focused as possible when I take to the stage. There's no room to mess up a joke or punch...I stand in the backroom waiting to be called, because I'm next, and the host is on stage throwing out a couple, before he brings me up. I know if I can just get through to my first punch, with it going over well, I can relax and enjoy myself, the crowd, and my set...I take to the stage, and my first joke goes well, given the meager size of the audience. From here on out, the state of my mental is to not rush, speaking clearly, not too fast, and getting the timing and pacing right. I already know my material, I just need to not step on any words. I had what I should consider to be a great set - not because of whatever audience reaction I hear for myself while on stage, because no matter what you may hear on stage, it always sounds not as strong on tape. But I considered it to be a great set because as I step off stage, and walk up the aisle to go through double doors to exit the main room, I'm stopped by the owner of the club, who identifies himself, and tells me that he enjoyed my set, watching it from the rear of the room. I thank him, proceed through the double doors afterwards, and with the guy who even called me to do this whole thing anyway. He gives me my free t-shirt, tells me that my tape should be done in about ten minutes, and that I did a good job as well...and then a development guy from Comedy Time approaches me, introduces himself, hands me his card, and tells me to follow up with him. I thank him and say that I will. I really don't need to call this guy. My validation of me belonging on the comedy stage, comes from someone appreciating what I did on stage, and just stepping to me, saying that they felt what I gave - or they understood what I was doing in a way not caught by everyone else. Of course, I will get back at the guy, and see what he's talking about. But in the interim(ha! you know you loving my vocabulary style), I will just enjoy this day for what it is and was - a good day. Not much could fade it. I even lost my cell phone today somewhere on the grounds of Magic Mountain. I was heated for a minute, 'cause that's just how you get when you lose your cell phone - it's like losing a child almost. But even if I don't find my phone, it's whatever, fuck it. My contract is up with Nextel in October, and I was planning on leaving them anyway - they suck!..and this day belonged to me. I didn't even get any trim today, and I never thought that any day could belong to me without getting any trim. The ride home from the IceHouse for me, was the same ride home for the guy that wins in an important heavyweight championship bout... When I'm in my car other days, I often listen to a song by Michael Jackson off his Dangerous album, called "Give In To Me." It's a rock song with some sick ass strings on it. When I was going home last night, I was listening to it. What is it about driving at night, blaring a kick ass song such as that one, that gets you going? I've played that song too many times to remember how many times I've played that song, and would know every note of that song anywhere. And even though over those countless amount of times I've listened to the song and the strings on the track, there was something about owning the night that made the song like the first time, making the strings on the track sounding that much sweeter.

Here ended the lesson....

2006-08-15T06:22:00.000-04:00

so um, yeah...just when I get in a journal entry earlier today, thinking I won't have anything to talk about for another couple of weeks, I have one of those days, where it becomes a double entry day. Sooo, I have to go to D.C. next week for my cousin's wedding, and I really want to be able to go to D.C., and try to drop a name, so I can perform at a "real club" in D.C. At least, that's my mindstate as I start my day, hoping to be able to get a set in, at Michael Colyar's room later that night. The plan: kill at Michale Colyar's room, get approval to use his name when I go home. The plan is in motion, and I'm going to leave my martial arts class early, so that I can be perfectly on time to hopefully get a fill-in for the beginning of the show. I even have my outfit laid out of what I'm taking to wear that night on stage. Start out with my white Phat Farm, drawstring, light textured sweats, with the dark blue and red stripe running down each side of my leg. Then I'm going to wear my extra large, red, ten dollar TJ Maxx Nike tee. Throw on top of the tee, my large sized white, muscle tee, with the raised blue and dark blue Nike print on the front...gotta let the red tee expose itself from the shoulders and at the bottom. Throw on my red D.C. Nationals baseball hat...and the piece de resistance? My all white Nike Air CR1's, size eight and a half(don't joan, I love my little feet)- I've may or may not have worn them more than ten times, but I still keep them in the box like, back to formula. The outfit might sound familiar to some - it's the same outfit I'm wearing on the homepage of my website. And no, it's not the only outfit I have to wear, but it is THE outfit to wear when I'm planning on going to destroy. Whatever your occupation, everyone has THAT outfit - the confidence gear. I'm right and ready to bring it tonight at Mike's room tonight...everything so far, is working according to plan. I leave my class at eight thirty that night to make it to Mike's room by nine. I'm taking a chance on spending gas to get to his room by nine, without the guarantee of a set. But I've talked to Mike's wife before, and get that feeling that even though there are rules and procedures for Mike's room, she genuinely wants to try to help unknowns if she can - as long as every Tom, Dick, and Harry (or every Mike, Reggie, and Chris for that matter) ain't looking for a handout. I'm there perfectly on time, and Brooks (Mike's wife) gives me the notion; didn't want to rock the boat, she tells me "Hang back and I'll see what I can do." So I hang. Not to many people in the audience as of yet, so it's prime opportunity to cash in. They throw on unknowns to fill time until the audience fills out. Mike starts the show, does of a little bit of him, announces that he will be bringing up a couple of new guys - per his lineup given to him by his wife. Now I know I'm officially going up. He directly addresses the three comedians that will be going up first(me, and the other two comics). Then he looks at me from the stage, as I stand near the back of the room, and says I'm going up first. His room, his rules - no problem. I WANT TO GO FIRST! Blow this stage up, and show them who Chris Reese is. I'm ready, absoulute confidence in myself, and my proven material. It's time. He brings me up, and with confidence I step to the stage, shake Mike's hand as he hands off, quickly place my wallet on the stage against the back wall(because of how light my pants are, a wallet sitting in my pocket destroys the integrity of the look of the pants, with it just swinging around down there), and I grab the mike, and set the stand out of my way. Time to wreck..."So is it hot enough for y'all yet?"....first punch goes off okay, not the reaction that I was expecting. Okay, I got more..."I guess if we run out of aluminum foil at a picnic, we can just start laying black people down on the grill." Okay, again, some laughter, but not what I'm expecting or at all looking for. That's as good as that bit went. Moving on, switching to the next bit, I'm not at all feeling love - as a comedian, you know when you're getting it, and when you're not, though some, however few, are giving you their audience. Now I've let THEM get to ME, and I know I've let it rattle me out of my game. Now I'm just spitting out material, rather shoving down their throat, what is apparently not working-laying the proverbial egg on stage. The light is early, and I have to get off the stage. I finish what I'm on, and take leave of the stage - shaken not stirred. "What's wrong with this crowd?!", I'm saying to myself. Mike takes back over the mike as he comes to the stage, takes riffs on my set, commends my confidence, and tells me to stick around for the critique. Later, I get a chance to talk to Mike, and he tells me that I may have noticed that the light came on early. He never saw my set, but he just knew people inside weren't laughing like they should have been. He tells me he wants me to come back in three weeks, where he can literally sit down, watch me do my set, and write notes to critique. Let me say that again. Michael Colyar is going to watch me do a set, write notes, and talk to me to critique and give advice. WOW! That can't be bought, and is more precious than anything for a comic trying to come up. NO ONE wants to talk to you out here in Los Angeles, unless you can do something for THEM! And Mike wants to see not just me, but comics in general grow and get better. Whatever you think of Michael Colyar's standup, gold is found in the words of a comedian who has found that destination, that you as a comic, are trying to get to. They say in comedy, you learn more when you bomb, than when you have a great set... Mike tells me, "Five minutes, you ain't got time to fuck around. Hit 'em quick, let 'em know you funny, then you can say what the fuck you want"....and here ended the lesson.....

Happs on the crapps...

2006-08-14T14:47:00.000-04:00

So, to the four or five people that may actually be reading my "blogs", or IF anyone is reading for that matter, you might be asking "How come he doesn't write in his journal more often?" To which I respond, "the way I see it, there's generally nothing in my life to talk about, until there's something in my life to talk about." - much is the life of the struggling comic. My personal daily/weekly struggles/chores remain pretty much routine. On the days I work, I get up, go to work, and then hit a mic after work - OR go home and go to sleep 'cause I'm too tired. On the days that I don't work, such as today, I get whatever errands I need to get done, done. In the evening, I go to Aikido class for an hour to two hours - and then I go hit a mic, or go home and go to sleep because I'm too tired. It seems like I may have a lot of time in between, but actually I don't. For me, I have defined what's important to me, and what I must do to accomplish the goals that stem from what's important to me. The things that are important to me right now are: 1) getting better at comedy, i.e., writing more, writing better, finding my voice, and gradually moving out from the open mic circuit. I am getting tired and bored of the open mic scene, and when that happens, more than likely it means you need to be challenged more. For me, it means doing better rooms, tougher rooms, expanding in general. Open mics in L.A. generally consist of more comedians than audience, and that's really never good, because you can never trust the validity of material against other people you're competing against - and open mics are more often than not, just painful and grueling - not to say that I'm Chris Rock, but there are a lot of people at these open mics that are just not funny. So now my "career" is at that point where I'm trying to get from the low point on the totum pole, to the middle point - networking to do better rooms/audiences, getting tapes made (so you can send them to various people), and just writing and performing, performing and writing. I will know when I have officially left the low point on the totum pole, when I either find an agent or manager who believes in me, and wants to represent me, or I am making an actual living off of doing comedy. It's actually not THAT hard to make a living doing comedy. You can do well from bookings on the college circuit, or from bookings in clubs...it just takes a lot of leg work. I myself want to give myself a couple more years before I do that - again to help establish a voice, become stronger. In the meantime, I write to find that voice...I did have a contest that I performed in last week...I didn't place, which I feel I should have at least been third. The fact that the people who judged talent that night, didn't recognize what I felt was strong material in the set I peformed, does not bother me now, though it did that night. After all, this was a contest in a bowling alley in Canoga Park, and not at the Improv or Laugh Factory. Many people told me that night after I performed, that I had excellent material, so I know it wasn't just me. But as one my fellow comic friends who placed second in a different part of the competition stated, "there are no points for second place." For me, at this point in my "career", nothing could ever be more true. When I can't perform, and make it obvious that I should've won hands down, then I have to get better than everyone else. I am dead set on accomplishing that...2) I am in the process of working on my own business right now, and no matter how simple a business is, such is mine, planning must be done, which is what I am in the process of doing now-concurrently, while I'm working at a job I'm desperately trying to get away from, while I'm peforming, and trying to write new material. Though I don't anticipate my business to start until February 2008, just like the movies, certain things must be in place before that time, so that when I'm ready to market it, everything is ready to go. That is also on my plate...3) I'm into my Aikido training, it is as equally important to me as my training in comedy. I will have that, even though I may not know how comedy and my eventual business will turn out. It is something you just understand or you don't. Plus I just like it...I wish I could say I had some sort of social life, but I don't. Actually I don't really care about socializing that much out here in California. Honestly, I don't like the people too much out here, but I'm trying to get better on judging people on an individual basis. There are good people out here though - even some that are native Californians... It would be nice however, to have someone that I was seeing on whatever downtime I had during the week, and on the weekend. But L.A. is an extremely difficult place to meet a cool young lady. I keep thinking to myself, if I was in D.C., it wouldn't be like this. But when I think about it, if I was in D.C., with a girlfriend, would I be as focused on what I'm trying to accomplish at this point in my life? Would I be out here in California taking my best shot at life? Someone who I used to work with at Safeway, back at home, once gave me great advice. She said, "get your career together, and the decent women will follow." I'm exactly in the point in my life, where I should be able to expect a certain quality of woman, not settling. However, I'm not exactly at that point where I have established myself, where I can say I'm certainly bringing something to the table- I'm exactly in that transition stage, and it doesn't help to be genetically flawed either. So I must continue on, remaining focused, as unexciting as this part of my life may seem. All I can say is, it ain't easy to be focused. Unless you look like Boris Kodjoe, all focus gets you is into the loyalty program at the local twenty four hour porn store....Dad, hope you pulling some good strings for me up there...

Why Comedy Takes Time...

2006-07-24T17:19:00.000-04:00

As I write this, I've been spending a lot time just trying to either get out to hit mics, or think of new material, or just relax and sleep, so time escapes me for writing in my blog as often as I would like...Okay, so this post is not at all intended for comedians. What I am about to say, they pretty much already know. In fact, anyone who is trying to be in entertainment industry knows what I am about to say, and therefore, you can click back on your browser right now to enjoy one of my other captivating blogs :-) This blog is intended for everyone else, especially those that subscribe to the coined term of "overnight success." As people who are in the entertainment industry, and most that are trying to be in the industry already know, this shit just takes time, time, a considerable amount of TIME - whether you're trying to be a comedian, actor, singer, etc...There may be an "it" factor that is used to determine who rises from obscurity to star status, but even those with the "it" factor, had to work DAMN HARD to get where they got. It always amazes me how many people think that the road to success in this industry is through the Hollywood created image of "discoverey." For those that are not exactly sure what "discovery" is, it is that Hollywood created dream image of a nobody who is just minding their business one day (walking down the street, eating in a restaruant), when fate brings a powerful producer, director or agent, in the path of the nobody. The powerful person realizes that "that face", usually a woman, is meant to be on a movie screen, the unknown is plucked from obscurity, and the rest is history. Now this may have happened a time or two back in the days of Greta Garbo, but in today's time, a man is more likely to become pregnant before that happens. What is reality, is that an act, usually has years and years of background story of where they came from, and how they came to be - a la True Hollywood Story. Tiger was playing golf from the time that he was about three, Beyonce and her crew were doing their thing since the booty was less bountiful, and Alicia Keyes and John Legend were probably playing the piano since the time that they could sit upright at an upright. Ya dig? No one is exempt. Example. I distinctly remember having a conversation with one of my boys sometime ago, of the "overnight success" of Viggo Mortensen(did I just hear someone say, "who the hell is that?"), with his appearance of the role of Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings. Now Viggo may not have the star status of say Brad Pitt, but I had to correct my boy on the countless roles he had before his big break. Either you never saw those movies, or you never noticed him before. Everyone has their dues to pay. I say to this say I am one of those people in my "backstory" now. Even I, as someone who knows that people have to pay dues, am reminded of that sometimes, beyond my own personal ideas of what patience and dilligence I must have. A couple of examples: the Laugh Factory out here in Hollywood has a show that it runs a couple times on Sunday nights called "Chocolate Sundaes" - as you might have guessed, a black show. This show is hosted by Chris Spencer (most notably for hosting "Vibe" on television). A feature of this show is called, "First Impressions." As it might imply, this segment of the show lets unknown/unheard comics perform for three minutes at a legitimate show - hence giving a first impression. It's very possible for industry to be there. It's highly likely you'll see a star or two there. Trying to get my hustle on in order to perform there (have performed in this very show before two or three years ago, but it wasn't pretty), I know I saw Lisa Bonet leaving after the first show, and I'm almost positive I saw Cree Summer and Boris Kodjoe(not leaving together) - so you could say that this is a big opportunity for comics looking for exposure. But in trying to get my hustle on, I discover from one of the shows' segment assistants, that there is a waiting list. Okay, I can understand that......EIGHT MONTHS LONG!!! Stage time - for three minutes - EIGHT! MONTHS! LONG!! I supposedly have a date for my time, but I'm still waiting to hear what that date is. Example two: Michael Colyar hosts a room every Monday night in a comedy club that is considered to be in the hood or close enough to it. Not first run exposure like the Laugh Factory, a national chain, but with Michael Colyar's name, you never know who might be in the house. On this particular ocassion, I saw Chris Spencer hanging back waiting his turn to get time to work on some material. Though it's not exactly an eight month wait to get time in his place, they regulate. Unknowns have at least a three week wait, and everyone is booked through his wife. Dropping a name, or giving them the name of a comic that vouches for you, is your best foot through the door. Of course if you have a popular comedian that vouches for you, you can cut through a lot of the red tape. But how many people have Chris Rock giving them a recommendation, or how many people have a last name ending in Wayans? It's dog eat dog, and usually the ones that make it are the ones that had the patience, and endured while others fell by the waistside. Win by attrition. It could be three, it could be five, it could be seven years. I realize that more than ever now, and for the time being, I just plan on honing, discovering who I am on stage, and becoming better, faster, stronger - Steve Austin with a mic...I believe someone will believe in me one day. There is a saying, "Everyone gets their chance, and when it comes, be ready." I'm not in a rush to get it on. I'm in a rush to get it right. This will only be a one shot deal, and I'm prepared to go the distance, however long it might take. I'm just glad that God blessed me with a devilishly handsome :-), youthful enough face to be able to still cash in on, when the time and opportunity finally comes...

I don't know how to do this crap!

2006-07-08T18:03:00.000-04:00

For all those people waiting for me to put some new video, pics, etc. on my site, please be patient. I don't know nothing about this website stuff, and going in and changing stuff. A boy of mine's is supposed to be showing me how to do this very soon, so it shouldn't be much longer. Thanks again for the support......

It's not that serious!...

2006-06-21T14:06:00.000-04:00

So I was at work yesterday, talking to one of the customers I delivered to, about the game(before Miami won). The guy is about late twenties, and he's either second or third generation American, of Indian ethnicity. I find it kind of funny how people can be soooo compassionate about certain things, when there's so much more important stuff going on in the world. Though I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. It's just a reflection of what the media pumps into the culture, thereby establishing what is priority and what is not. I mean, come on, we're not too far from seeing such headlines in the major paper: Front page? "Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's Baby Takes Dump In Diapers! Crapper's Handiwork to be Auctioned Off At Sotheby's!"... page 15? "North Korea Fires Nuke At America! Kiss Your Ass Goodbye!".....So, in the course of my brief conversation with the guy, he stated that he REALLY hoped that Dallas would win the game, because he really couldn't take it if Shaq won another championship. Hmm, okay. I wanted to know more, so I inquired some more, and gathered from him that Shaq had made comments that he really didn't like. I wasn't aware of these comments that Shaq made, so I inquired further. Apparently, he didn't like a comment that Shaq made to the extent that it didn't matter that he wasn't playing for the Lakers, because he was now playing for the greatest coach in NBA history. Welllllllll, I mean it IS Pat Riley, and he did coach and lead to the championships, what was arguably the best professional basketball team, with some of the greatest players to ever play the game, assembled on one team - and without a doubt, the best team in Laker history! I guess he didn't like that comment Shaq had made, maybe because it was a shot at Phil Jackson? I don't know. I just know that a lot of people would argue that Pat Riley is the greatest NBA coach ever. Then he said that he didn't like another comment that Shaq had made, which was something to the extent that he was glad he wasn't in L.A., because L.A. is fake, and it's full of a bunch of fake people! Wellllllllll,..... I mean L.A. IS fake, with a bunch of fake people, which makes it LAAAAAAAME!!. They should really call this city, the city of Lamegels! They should build a giant crutch under the Hollywood sign to show how lame it is! Give out walkers at the DMV when people go get their driver's licenses! That's how lame L.A. is. And since they say that the people in Los Angeles aren't really from Los Angeles, there shouldn't be anyone in Los Angeles reading this right now, getting upset! Not being a little bit too personal, am I?...I digress, but I couldn't understand for the life of me, why this was such a big deal to him. I mean, there's nothing wrong with having pride and spirit for your team and city and all, but it's not THAT serious. Really! I don't think win or lose, when Shaq is chillin' by the beach with his wife and family in Martinique, Corona in hand, miles from ordinary, he's going, "You know, I wish that dude Chris delivers groceries to, was here to...share this moment with me." Besides, the way I figure it, anyone black that becomes a success, should revel in as much of "their time" as possible - that includes Kobe, Shaq, Condolezza, Colin, Tiger, Barack, Jay-Z, and anybody else black that's getting theirs - 'cause I damn sure plan on getting my piece of the pie. Shit, it's just hard to get out of high school alive if you're black(the hood is not pretty), never mind becoming some kind of force in entertainment, politics, religion, etc...Besides, I hear Shaq is a police officer now. He needs to be able to enjoy all his moments and successes as a NBA player, 'cause he ain't gon' be worth a damn as a police officer. You think Shaq could be counted on to take out criminals? All they would have to do is put a basketball hoop on their back, and I GAR-RON-TEE, Shaq would miss them too! Just be happy for black people, 'cause when it comes down to it, it IS just a game! Or it IS just entertainment. There are WAAAAAAY more important things everyone should be worrrying about. Though, if I thought it would help to put ends in my pocket, I would bitch about the fact that 50 cent is the most overrated rapper there ever was! But you know what? It's not that serious. Or I could bitch about the fact that ever since American Idol has been on television, there's has ALWAYS been a black singer that was better than the winner, when that winner wasn't black. But you know what? It's not that serious. Or, ORRR, I could bitch about the fact that Toni Braxton was supposed to be MY baby's mama! Me, her, WEEEE, were supposed to being doing the damn thing. But you know what?........Hey, the way I see it, Toni just made the decision that much easier to allow Alicia Keyes to be my new baby's mama! Now how you like them bag of apples Toni?!

Father's Day - June 18, 2006

2006-06-18T15:40:00.000-04:00

So over the past week, I been thinking that when I woke up this morning, how I would feel on this special day for fathers. Did I spend last week dreading seeing this day come? Not really. Just didn't know how I would feel. I actually thought I would be working today, which for part of the day, would have kept my mind off this particular day. But since I found out that I didn't have to work today(a nice surprise actually), it gave me more time to think about how I'm feeling. And I'm okay about TODAY (father' day). Thus far today, I been enjoying what I'm not usually able to do on Sunday mornings, which is not a damn thing! After learning I didn't have to work, I put on some of my 80's music (love 80's music), messed around on the computer a little, played a little Turok on my XBox, ate some cereal and juice for breakfast, and talked to my best friend and mother...but not too long ago, actually minutes before i started this post, I called my grandfather (at my mother's request) and wished him a Happy Father's Day - and I guess that's sort of where I feel awkward on this day. I can talk to my grandfather, but I can't talk to MY father. There's something, if at the very least, just weird about that. In the natural order of life, things are just not supposed to be that way. Don't get it wrong, I do not wish my grandfather wasn't alive, I'm just not use to not being able to pick up the phone on today(or any other day for that matter), and talk to my father. Though I'm fully aware and pretty much handling the situation reasonably well, I'm still not fully adjusted to that reality, or stated another way, the ability to permanently suspend my disbelief of this situation...I talked to a boy of mine's back home in D.C. last week, he actually designed this site(leethepoet.com...shameless plug, i know), and I told him that now, whenever I go home, I feel weird, and it's just not the same. D.C. will always, ALWAYS, be my home, and I will ALWAYS put it down for D.C., but I'm just not that excited like I used to be about going home anymore, because it's too much looking backwards, which I have to do, because I've lost too many people. I lost my best friend in 95, my brother in 2000, my grandmother a couple years ago, and my father this year. If that ain't the end of the road, for me, it's damn near. I still have lots of family and friends back home that it's always cool to see, and catch up with when I'm in town. But as I see it, sometimes you can best love people when you're miles away - it works well for me in this situation(one of my dreams it to make it big, so I that I can occasionally fly all my family and friends out here - not to show off or anything, but just to have that connection with family and friends in a different type of life that had come adjusted to moving forward). I'm moving forward, when I'm somewhat disconnected from home, trying to do my thing out here (I actually performed this past Friday for the first time since I've been back in Los Angeles - did pretty good, felt pretty good; just had to ride the storm out back to performing). I'm not sure if my boy I was talking to, got what I was getting at - I think he did, he's of a smart breed, we all went to H.U. But I'm not sure if others (the only kind that count) will really get me on this. When I was back home in D.C. this past March/April, I saw my cousin and her fiance. Scheduled to get married this August, I told them that I might be back home for the wedding. I'm sure that kind of threw them - maybe even hurt them a little for me to say "maybe." It's just that at the time, I wasn't looking forward to coming back home so soon - I mean, we all know how fast the summer goes. Of course though, I realize I have to go home for my cousin's wedding. Never mind the fact that I'm supposed to MC the wedding, but we're family that grew up together, separated in age by one month and one day, she the older. And I was always cool with him back from our Safeway days. Hell, he's already in the family, they just making it legal now. Plus, I'M the reason that all this wedding is taking place anyway(that's a story for another time), so it only makes it kind of logicial that I SHOULD be there. Hey, the way I figure it, black wedding? back in good ol' violent ass Dodge City? in August heat? Should be kind of like, Best Man meets Black Hawk Down meets Do The Right Thing, with a reception...and that should be enough good times, priceless, and Kodak moments for me to forget about my troubles for this go round at least....

p.s. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all the fathers out there doing they J-O-B!!

Impressive!......MOST IMPRESSIVE!!

2006-06-11T02:56:00.000-04:00

Okay, so let's just say that I find my current job situation undesirable. "Hey, what's new?" you say - "a black man can't ever be satisfied. You should be happy that you even have a damn job." I guess I would have to concur with my fellow faith based, God fearing, thankful folk sending me those mental vibes of advice right now. For those of you that don't know, I work for a company whose business is online grocery delivery, and my job is just that - if you order groceries, I'm showing up to deliver them to your house. The geographic area in which I work is in the west valley of Southern California, which covers cities of mostly middle class, to areas of people that are a little bit more affluent. And lastly, I deliver to areas of people that are living beyond a bit more affluent to living just fucking RIDICULOUS!!! Don't make no sense ridiculous. And if you're not exactly sure what ridiculous is, let me help you - ridiculous is when the living quarters of the pets of these people is bigger than YOUR damn house!! Sure, I'll give you a second while you TRY to fathom and digest that pill...done? let's continue... So, anybody familiar with the cities of Calabassas and Topanga KNOWS what I'm talking about. You might be wondering or asking yourself right now if I'm finding my present job situation undesirable, because as working class, I have contempt for the privileged I service. How I worded that may have flown over some, so let me break that down in that rawest essence. You might be thinking that I hate my job, 'cause I'm a broke ass black man, delivering to rich ass white people I can't stand! Capiche? And my answer to that is, yes - but not as much as you may think. My only problem with delivering to SOME rich people, is that SOME of the rich people I deliver to, can be just a little bit presumptuous, for lack of a better word, of my standing or place in society versus theirs. I just don't want no one to get it twisted. This ain't Hattie McDaniel here! I don't come or go with no wind! I'm from S.E. D.C. You cool with me, I'm cool with you. But disrespect, and I'll burn Tara down!! You feel me! But I digress. As I said, those are some. Actually MOST are cool. But combine that little percentage of people that arent cool, with the feeling of being underappreciated and underpaid at your job, and you get the idea of where I presently stand at my job. So why am I at this job you ask? Good question. My answer is two fold, and let me first say that I am presently looking to leave my current job. Now, first answer to the question is because it's better than the last job I had, which was driving a city bus, with "city" people (for lack of a better word), with a less forgiving work schedule, than the one I have now. So when I was offered my present job, where I would have more flexibility, I jumped on it. Now, the second answer to that question is REALLY difficult to explain to people that aren't trying to be in the industry, but I will try my best to provide that answer. In a nutshell, because for what I am trying to do, I HAVE to make sacrifices. I have a undergrad, and a grad degree. People who know me, know this, but I have been chastised, I guess you could say, by a couple of my friends, who know this and feel that I choose to be in the position I'm in (financially), because I have those two degrees, and I'm not putting them to use. My answer to that is, true and not true. Yes, I choose to be in the position I am in. And like I said before, it is a MUST to make sacrifices in order get where I'm going. I choose not to get a "serious" job, because I don't want to become complacent and lose focus. I don't want a "serious" job that expects me to devote more time to them after five or six p.m. Once I leave the job, it's MY time, to focus on my REAL career goals and ambitions. Also, that money spent on obtaining those two degrees, is NOT being wasted. I do have plans on using that knowledge that I paid for - on myself, not for any particular company. Those plans will reveal themselves in due time. I pretty much went to school to get the education for myself. One of my boys has the hardest time grasping that concept -that I spent money to go to school to get the knowledge for myself, and not to use the degrees to get a "nice, cushy" job. I'm just not the kind of person who will be able to allow himself to work for someone for the rest of his life. Sooo, this all explains why I'm at a job, that's not doing anything for me. At least, that's what I had even thought myself, until I received God's caveat a couple days ago. You see, sometimes we get caught up with what's directly in front of us on the road, that we misinterpret the true intentions of what God's trying to show us further down the road. This job, as every other job in the past, has not been a failure, but a learning opportunity - and I JUST got the point of this job the other day. For the absolute first time since I've had this job, I've delivered to a black family of EXTREME obvious wealth - for the FIRST time! This family lives in the same gated community where I have been told by security that a certain famous comedian, and a certain famous singer/songwriter lives as well. Now I'll just say right now, that this family I delivered to, I have no idea how they obtained their wealth. What I do know is that their "estate" was impressive if not jaw dropping. Not only did they live in this gated, wealthy community, but they also had one of the best houses in the community - their house on a hill, giving them a commanding view of much of the community. They had one of those houses where there's a gate at the entrance to their estate, and you have to be buzzed in. And then once you're buzzed in, you drive up a long driveway until you pop up into the courtyard/parking area of their house. I remember seeing at least four or five vehicles, all were black, two of them as I recall were an H2 and a mercedes. They were a young(i'm guessing late twenties, early thirties) couple, good looking, with a beautiful daughter for family... and they were BLACK!! I guess you could say I wanted to know "who" they were, "how" they were, but I found myself speechless. I can't help but think, that when I left, the Mrs. may have thought I was kind of rude, because I don't recall myself being very conversational-just doing what I came for. I guess I didn't trust myself enough to not say something stupid like, "Woww, I know y'all couldn't have sold crack to be able to afford this place!"... again, I don't know the "how" about them. I don't care, or even need to know, but when I left their house, I finally got it. I got it. I got the reason for this particular job. It is so that I can remember my humble beginnings, and remember where I came from and the sacrifices I made, because it IS possible to obtain whatever I go after...and it's not the same as if I delivered to Beyonce Knowles' house. Because most times, there's an automatic disconnect. People tend to think, that rich celebrities are rich and famous, because it was destiny, or just meant to be (which, though I admit, in this business has to do with a lot of luck, but ALSO hard work - so that is a self defeative way of thinking). Because this family was no one famous(or related to anyone famous from what I could discern), that puts them in the same boat as me. As John Legend would say, just ordinary people...and ordinary people CAN make extraordinary things happen. And for that, I will always remember and be thankful for the Lewis family for their inspiration to me...

Does this mean I'm going to hell?

2006-05-29T03:37:00.000-04:00

Is it just me, or am I the only one laughing at the Volkswagen commercials where the people are getting blindsided by cars coming out of nowhere? Damn, they getting fuuucked up! Walk outside and MY car be pushed in!!

HE'S A F***ING GINNEY!!!!

2006-05-22T00:09:00.000-04:00

Once again, welcome to another edition of "The Life of Chris Reese: Laughter for the Gods." In our last episode, our hero had come into great danger, having his superpower of sensibility stripped, leaving him mindless, defenseless, and vulnerable to the malicious and coldhearted intentions of a golddigging hoe. As you may recall, this nearly catatonic state was brought upon our hero when, in apartment searching, his future roommate made mind blowing statements on the apartments they had seen, placing them both further into dire circumstances. Most notable of the comments made, was that a particular apartment was "luminescent insufficient." This statement of gay tendency should have garnered a bitch slap to the roommate by our hero on GP, but this action was granted temporary clemency - possibly due to the fact that this bad chess move would have made the smart pairing with a Jewish boy with good credit, null and void. But as our story continues,.. (DUN DUN DUN DUUUNNNNNNN)..." WE INTERRUPT THIS BROADCAST TO BRING YOU BREAKING INFORMATION INTO THE LIFE OF CHRISTOPHER MALCOLM REESE. WE UNDERSTAND THAT CHRIS REESE IS SPEAKING LIVE RIGHT NOW TO HIS AUDIENCE FROM HIS HOME SOMEWHERE IN CALIFORNIA, AND WE'RE JUST GOING TO SHIFT OUR FOCUS NOW AND TUNE INTO THIS LIVE SPEAKING ENGAGEMENT. SO LET'S LISTEN IN AS WE GO NOW, CHRIS REESE ADDRESSING HIS AUDIENCE...."....I was almost at that point where I wanted to say, "man, the hell with you Jew boy! Ain't no credit score worth all this!" Na, mean? I mean, we cool, and that's my boy and all but damn, we just trying to find an apartment. We not trying to eat this apartment, it ain't going in our stomach! We trying to sleep IN the apartment, not WITH the damn apartment! I mean you being all picky like you on the show "The Third Wheel". and you seriously trying to find a wife or something - too big, too small, bad vibes, not bright, doesn't glow. You gotta be kidding me! and, AAAAAAND, I almost lost it, when we found this tight ass place, I mean TIGHT 2 BD, 2 BA, spacious, balcony (even though it was on the ground) - and DIDN'T take it...and why didn't we take this place?! Because the place won't, under any circumstances, accept pets of any kind - and my roommate must, MUST, gotta have a guinea pig! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WE 'BOUT TO LOSE THIS 2BD 2BA SPACIOUS ASS PLACE W/BALCONY EVEN THOUGH IT'S ON THE GROUND, BECAUSE OF A FUCKIN' GUINEA?!!!! SHHHH! HM! UH HM..yeah, okay, see what you betta do is, you betta just sneak the damn guinea in here, and don't say shit to nobody! - on some black shit for real now! Your insistence is causing a most unfortunate problem, and I SWEAR FO GOD, if we lose this place because of a guinea pig, WHATEVER we find, whenever i'm alone with the animal, I'M GONNA JACK UP YOUR GUINEA ON SOME GUINESS! WATCH HIM GET STOUT OFF THE STOUT FOR REAL, AND CROAK FROM THE B.A.C.!!! See if I'm playing! A damn guinea! Are you kidding me?!...however, we were able to finally come together and find a place, with barely anytime to spare, to say the least. And this whole process has been a pain in the ass, to say the least. It's hard enough trying to find a place in California, but to get two different people together with two different views? It's a miracle that we found something. I'm just happy that there were only two of us instead of three of four. I shudder to think where and what kind of condition I would be living in, if I had another roommate or two that was a budhist or a bushman from Australia. Now just make sure keep the cage for your guinea pig locked, roomie. Wouldn't want it to escape and have me ACCIDENTALLY mistake it for overgrown vermin potentially carrying the Hunta virus! :-) ...and where did we finally move to, you might ask? It's a cool little 2BD 1 BA in........."and as we return, what appears to be a statement by Chris Reese on some of the bullshit he has to put up with in order to make it in show business in California. Stay tuned as we'll have more up to the minute information on this, and other events in the life of Chris Reese. Right now, we're going to return to our regularly sheduled program already in progress.".....

How'm I doing?!!!!

2006-05-10T17:33:00.000-04:00

First, I would like to take this opportunity, for me and my mom, to thank all persons who gave love, support, and prayers to us in our time of sorrow. I can't mention everyone by name, but you know who you are. As for myself, I'm not one much for talking to people about what's going on inside of me - guess i get that from my father. If I pen it here, then that's about as much talking about it that I plan to do. Second, today is Mother's Day, so to ANY mother out there that comes across this journal entry, sincere wishes for a Happy Mother's Day! Hope you had/are having a wonderful day. A mother, especially one who is still raising children, truly has a 24/7/365 job. I'm still not at that point where if I had kids, I wouldn't feel that the kids wouldn't be holding me back. And since I don't have money enough like rich white people to hire Consuela to be a nanny to my kids just yet, I'm still in a holding pattern on that one. So my hats off to all parents in general doing their job. Hey, I love your kids. But when they start crying or acting bad, I love them more when I can send them back to their parents. HAAAA!!..Anyway, like I said before, I'm looking for a job, as well as new place. I'm trying feverishly to get this done. It's almost as if there's some internal cleansing, fresh start that I must put in place, after all that's happened. Have not found an apartment yet, though I think the problem with that is that I chose to pick a Jewish white boy to roommate with. I don't know too much about the Jewish culture, but I do know that supposedly, some Jewish moms tend to be overbearing. I think that somehow translates into sons of Jewish mothers being extremely spoiled and picky. I'm a man. If I find something I like, I buy it, holla at it, or move on it. Nextel-done! So why do I feel, that this process of finding an apartment that we'll both like is going to take forever? Or at least, go down to the wire, where we'll run out of time, and have to accept a two compartmental card board box by Venice Beach for 2500 dollars a month. Why?! I'll tell you why! Because THIS place is five blocks too north of your target living area! Or THAT place wants the deposit in a money order instead of a check (btw, if i can't pay by online, i'm the money order king!) Or this place DOESN'T GET ENOUGH LIGHT??! WTF???! Son, I don't plan on getting attacked by vampires in the middle of the night!!! But if Kate Beckinsale knocks on the door, craving to suck on something with little bit more of a chocolate flavor, let her in! I got something for her! Work with me people! O well, the search continues. At least I got some potential material from my future roommate, watching him spew his guts out from being hungover on his birthday, while we were apartment searching last weekend. Too funny! Not funny BEING hungover. Funny watching OTHERS being hungover. But that's a story for another time. Besides that, I'm still doing the waterdance, trying to stay afloat. I keep getting people asking me how i'm doing? Then after that, they usually say, "you know if you ever need anything, ANYTHING, i'm here for you?" I always wanted to test that, and see if people really mean what they say, say what they mean - walk the talk, ya mean?...Well, you know Auntie, I'm not emotionally ready to go back to work right now. Do you think you could give me about three thousand to cover me until i'm ready to go back?...........that's what I thought...Well, as a matter of fact, a brotha is kind of feeling down and depressed, and you know, a little genuine female TLC, you know, some trim would help?............that's what i thought. So you can skip the pleasantries-you already know how i'm doing. I'm doing without!...Since I've been back to California, I haven't yet been back on stage. I'm not at all worried about that. I may not step back on stage until I've moved into my new place-part of that psychological, fresh start thing I was talking about earlier. I'm just trying to get myself up to speed, or at "that point" again. There are certain things I'm not sure I can face, or talk about on stage right now-though I'm positive I'll be able to, in enough time. Damn, I swear I don't know how people like Pryor, and Louie Anderson were able to do it. To get up on stage, and fight back emotion, and still make people laugh. I guess that is one important skill this young Padawan must learn to master. I think I'd much rather learn to mind trick people...so I can get my three grand, and my trim! :-o Uh oooh, that kid's starting to rebound!!...

Life Goes On!!

2006-04-26T16:58:00.000-04:00

So here it is, to the day, exactly one month since my father took leave from us (me, mom, family, friends, the world in general) to go on another journey. It's has not been an easy month, to say the least - without a doubt, one of the worst times of my life. I am taking this opportunity, actually, forcing myself while I have this free time, to sit down and write. Sometimes, one of the hardest things to do in the world when you know you've got something inside of you that needs to released, is to face a blank piece of paper - no matter a comedian, screenwriter, rapper, poet, songwriter, author - or even a son that must find his own way to grieve for his father. I guess this is my way. While facing a blank piece of paper can be one of the hardest things in the world, for anyone in this position, one of the best things to do is, to face a blank piece of paper. Kind of deep if you really think about it. They say people in my position run the gammut of emotions from unacceptance, to sadness,to anger, etc. etc. As for me, I guess the best way for me to explain how I feel is mostly just weird. A kind of weird that arises from feeling empty, and from that feeling empty, not really knowing how else to feel. Because of that "emptiness" feeling, I do realize that I have been shaken in a couple ways - in the ability to pray right now, and the intention to write, and perform. Forcing myself to sit down and write, to write about anything, is my way of jumping back in the saddle for the latter I guess. As for the aforementioned, let's just say, faith shaken, not broken. I am sure I will get back to the place I was before. Time eclipses human emotion as countless people have been reminding me at this time. I almost feel that what God wants me to take from this, is a lesson in humility. So here it is. I've pretty much for the last month, by my own accord, have temporarily withdrawn from the world, and now it is time for me to reconnect - again by my own accord. It is time for me to return, and going back to work, whatever work is to any particular individual, is part of getting back and returning. This Friday is my first day back to work since... Not necessarily looking forward to doing that. But that has nothing to do with any kind of grief. Most days, before this situation, I wasn't looking forward to going to work anyway :-) But I'm sure that there are a lot of people that abide in the way I feel. Who's wit me?...Anyway, this past Sunday, I went out apartment shopping with a friend and fellow colleague. We're trying to find an apartment together and roommate. Dave just happens to be a white guy of Jewish faith. Not to say that all Jewish people have money, because all Jewish people don't have money. To make a broad, sweeping statement like that, is like saying that all black people are athletically inclined. I'm living proof to discredit that statement. But I just happen to decide to roommate with the one Jewish guy that's actually broker than ME! It can be cool though to have white friends, but it's also funny to have white friends ESPECIALLY if you're black. It's just interesting to see how some can think impractically, DESPITE sub-par means. I guess some things are just EXPECTED when you're white. He's a cool dude though. Let's just say we happened on to something more within our financial feasibility. Wish us the best of luck. I can only hope that keffa luva's credit will carry us to the promised land - if not, I may just be able to pull REALLY ORIGINAL material from this. Also, I got a phone call yesterday for a job. Not just another job. A real career want. Actually, it is not yet a job offer, but rather an audition. An audition to act in Kaiser Permanente's Theater Program. Perform shows for kids, and for the benefit of the community, and get paid for it like a regular job. Let me say that again. Perform, AND get paid for it?! No, I don't need any more details, just tell me where to sign! Get me this job, and I'll name my first born, first, middle, last, Kaiser Theater Program! This could be a possible career jolt. At the very least, a NICE line entry on my resume. Needless to say, I want to nail this audition. I don't care who I have to embody, Denzel, Bobby D, Pacino-hell Jamie Foxx as a blind man! We'll see how it goes. I can only think, or hope to think, that these two things are a small indication that my father is indeed watching out over me. I know regardless of what happens with the two, he is watching over me anyway. But I wouldn't think twice about giving back both opportunities, and a couple more, for one last conversation with my father.

The Devil WILL Cry!!

2006-04-03T17:52:00.000-04:00

What I am about to write, is the hardest thing I've ever had to write, or even had to dwell on. I've never at all expected for this journal to ALWAYS contain hilarity, funny points of view of the world as seen through my eyes, or sharp wit on social commentary. I'm not really sure yet of what I expect to find here with this journal - maybe myself. And this particular journal entry is not at all intended to be about me, but before I have to say what I have to say, I feel I need to be understood on how I feel, what goes on inside my head at times, and it may come off sounding like it's all about me. The fact of the matter is that, though a comedian, there are LOTS of times where I don't feel like being funny, because I feel like I am ALWAYS fighting against some thing. I understand that this is not at all uncommon among comedians. We find our funny on the stage, and are fighting something most times, off. There is a line out of a scene in Godfather Part III, that in my mind, encapsulates my existence thus far ..."Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in...!!" If you know anything about or have seen that movie, of course that line is all about one man's seemingly inescapable destiny of forever being tied to his family's business of organized crime. For me, it just means that I should have learned by now that I should never get comfortable with things going right in my life. Because it just seems to me, that just when I seem to be getting things right in my life for the second, third, fourth, fifth time, something else always comes along to set me back. I'm always trying to do the waterdance, and this time I got too comfortable with staying afloat. So what?! Everyone's got problems right? Life happens! But it seems the devil has been putting in overtime with me. Honestly, sometimes I feel that he has it in for me to be hurt, in order to break my will and very being - and that I must persevere out of spite, if nothing else. However, whatever hurt, malice, evil intent that he meant for me and my family, he was able to accomplish with the loss of my father, Franklin Delano Reese, Sr. this past March. There aren't words in the english language that could even begin to describe the emptiness, confusion, and futility left with you, when someone of your blood, and especially blood that happens to be that of your hero, your idol, is forever silenced - and WAY too soon.

The last time I saw my father alive, was last October. It's never possible to know when you will see someone for the last time. I can deal with the fact that October was the last time I saw my father. What I can't deal with, is the fact that when I saw my father for the last time, I never got to tell my father "Thanks! Thanks for Everything, Dad!" Thanks for making me lucky, and being a dad that was there, when many other fathers weren't. Thank you for being a provider. Thanks for your love and protection. Thanks for doing a hell of job of raising a kid, often sick in childhood, and bringing him into manhood. Thanks for wisdom and lessons. Thanks for supporting hopes and dreams. Thanks for teaching me how to tie my shoes, how to tie a tie, how to drive a car. Thanks for all the asswhoopings. Thanks for memories. Thanks for the sacrifices - because I do know that you made some for the sake of your children. I won't forget all that you did, and all that you were - a man of character, integrity, strength and simplicity. Again, words can't do justice, but to me, he was my dad. All the meaning that could ever exist with the relationship between a father and son, was there with my father, and then some.

So I feel it is incumbent upon me to let people, even if only one person, know something about this great man that this world in no longer able to know. Though I don't think I could pen the words to do justice to this man's memory, one of the very last acts I can do for him is to try... One of six children to Herbert Reese, Sr. and Lillie Mae Reese, he was born and raised in Washington D.C. He spent most of his life in D.C., and his days as an adolescent, could probably be accurately described as "Cooley High" - hanging with neighborhood friends, playing basketball in Chuck Taylor's, coming of age during the Motown sound of the 60's. He would graduate from Eastern High School, and later, would serve his country in the United States Army. He would meet and marry my mother, and eventually have two kids - my brother Franklin Reese, Jr. and me. He would later become a graduate from UDC as an English major. For most of his career, until he would retire, he would work in the government as a dedicated employee, for the Library of Congress. As you might imagine, working for thirty plus years for the Library of Congress, he would become a very familiar and friendly face among his colleagues, co-workers, and friends. He loved sports, was a huge fan of Muhammad Ali, and with the emergence of Tiger Woods in golf, had become a follower of the sport. He loved listening to Bob Marley, Billy Joel, Barbara Streisand and other artists and musicians that could earn him the title of "old school." He was an avid reader, which made him the intellectual he was. He was the kind of man that could go on Jeopardy and win. People came to him when they needed someone smart for the answer. He was a great husband, father, brother, uncle, friend, and many other things to many other people. He was proud, kind, giving, and one of the strongest black men anyone could ever know.

Things are unbelievable and unreal to me right now. I don't know how to make sense of things, and maybe to keep my sanity, it's best not to try. I guess I just wanted to be able to speak on behalf of my father - to speak on the man that he was, and the man that I hope to keep living, through me. I will miss expecting to hear his voice on the other end of the line when I call home from now on. A treasured keepsake is the last picture of me taken with my father (and mother) I will miss making more memories with my father - the very last memory with him, is of me saying goodbye - apologizing to him for not being able to see a grandson before he left, and promising to make the most of the life he laid the groundwork for. If I only become half the man that he was, then I know I will have kept that promise.

Forever in our hearts and minds dad, you will always be loved and missed....R.I.P.

Frankline Delano Reese, Sr.
January 15, 1944

March 26, 2006

I need to start smokin' weed again, 'cause I'm only one person, and if I'm so smart, then why am I so stupid?!!

2006-03-15T04:39:00.000-05:00

I know some of y'all reading this, caught the title, and thinking to yourselves, "Smoke Weed AGAIN? You can't start smoking weed again, unless you was smoking weed before in the past! And you know good and hell well, your ass ain't had no business smoking weed!" Ha Ha! Ya, I know, but getting down with the get down is something of my past, and I'm all about moving forward now. But it's certain times where you start to feel, in order to deal w/ the b.s. going on in your life, you NEED some herbal refreshment. Some lime green wrapped in a phillies blunt, or a chocolate(my personal favorite), and BLAAAAZE!! And if you ain't got no weed, take out the foot that the world has lodged in your ass, roll it up, and smoke that! You gotta escape by any means necessary. I guess I'm at that point - I need about a couple hours flight time, get away from the world. Lately it seems there aren't enough hours in the day for me to accomplish everything I want, or need to do for myself. Instead, I'm filling the hours of the day, taking to task of dealing w/ other people's issues. I'm one person trying to do my own thang, the least of which includes, trying to find a place to live that's closer to the Hollywood comedy district, trying to find time to write, to get out and work on material, work on my business idea, and find a new job that won't stay in the way of doing all those things I just said - 'Cuz my current job ain't doing it - they trying to take me out like I'm Kirby Puckett. My job is dealing w/ other people's crap, which is tiring my soul, to the point where it feels like it's killin my inspiration. I know there are others out there that can relate to this - their job draining them until they feel dead. For this reason, they ought to make another day of the week, and call it "Succumbday" - this would be the day of the week, where you would wake up and say "Fuck That Job!" and call in sick. And when people ask, what happened to you, why you didn't come to work that day, it was because you succumbed - you succumbed from being surrounded by incompetent co-workers, lame bosses, pain in the ass customers, clients, cases, files, rules, regulations, policies, procedures, equipment, supplies, slave wages, office space, overworking, underappreciation, working condiitions and any and all other crap that you despise about your job, which generally comes to mind when the alarm clock wakes you up too early in the morning. Holla if you hear me! I'm not coming in today, 'cause I'm dead! I'll see you tomorrow after my resurrection!...I need to find another job. It would be so much easier to find a job more accomodating to my goals and aspirations if I was in D.C. If I was in D.C., two words: Gub - Mint. Nine to five, M-F, weekends off. That's what I need and those type of jobs in L.A. are hard to find. Harder to find than that Natalie Holloway girl in Aruba. It's hard to get things right in California, because it's just too damn big, too damn crowded. Traffic itself is like an extra ball and chain in your daily grind, and time is a precious commodity. The secret to survival in California, which is key, is to either find a job very close to where you live, or find a place to live very close to your job. I know this, yet I seem to be having the hardest time getting this right. I know I'm smarter than this, so why am I not getting this right? I myself live in desert area, about fifty miles from something worthy of reasonably being called a city, and about eighty miles from the city of L.A. itself. Where I live, it actually snowed (IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA!!) a couple of weeks ago. It's so far from L.A., that whenever I go to L.A., I don't just go to L.A., I descend into L.A. This type of existence, living a great distance from work, is inconceivable probably anywhere else in the country, but actually, it is not uncommon at all living in L.A. Many people live a great distance away from L.A., and commute in some fashion everyday to get to work. I guess this works for people that just work and go home. But if you're an struggling artist, this is not very accomodationg. You need an accomodating job that won't tire you, and you need to live in an accomodating location. I think my execution is wrong. Maybe I should start doing porn. I know that would turn out to be hilarious, hence getting me noticed, and jumpstarting my career in comedy. I'll ponder that thought more, the next time I'm watching my favorite porn "Phatty Girls 3". Moral of this long ass story - if you're interested in moving to Californina to pursue stardom, bring a couple million dollars with you to help subside the struggle.

Excuse me while I stab your ass!!!

2006-03-07T11:31:00.000-05:00

Bad habits. We all have them - whether they range from minor, not much of a bother to anyone, to annoying, irritating, lazy, disgusting, shocking or just plain unbelievable. No one is exempt. I myself, have the habit of whenever I get tired, however I may fall asleep, is however I may fall asleep. It may be on the bed, it may be on the floor (more often than not, it's my bed). I might fall asleep wearing bed clothes, or I just may knock off while I'm still wearing regular clothes. Hell, there have been times when I just tried to make it through the front door of my house when I was tired, but I guess I found sleeping under the security of a seatbelt, a refreshing change of pace from sleeping under the security of warm covers. Now that's LAZY!! But when I'm sleepy, whatever goes, GOES!!! I guess I may also have a subconcious penchant for belching, without regard to who may be in vicinity of me doing it, who may be offended. I don't think it's necessarily the quick, short belch, which can easily sneak up on anyone like a two hour ago meal from Taco Bell, that offends. And I wouldn't exactly go so far as to say that I'm like the character in Moe's Tavern on The Simpsons that relishes in the fact that his belching can be measured on the richter scale. Alas for me, there is a happy medium in offensive belching. Still, I don't think I have any habits that would make anyone want to get out their scalpal and stab me seventy eight times, like someone on trial for murder in the first, without pre-meditation. Yes, we all know people with certain traits, that when we see them perform certain habits, you feel like just pulling out your scalpal, and stabbing the hell out their ass, repeatedly, until they are dead. Example you ask? Let's take for instance my boy. I love him like another brother, but i can not STAND to hear him eat. And let me just say, that EAT is an understatement. It's more like ravage... attack... barbaricly chew and digest. Like, WTF? Where the hell YOU learn to eat? A pack of rabid wolves? Animals on Wild Kingdom w/ Lorne Green? And on top of that, the SMACKINGGGGGGG!! I CAN NOT STAND SOMEONE THAT SMACKS THEIR DAMN FOOD!! People that smack their food, will usually smack ANYTHING! Food- smack! Water-smack, smack!! Oxygen-smack, smack, smack!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT NO MORE!! WHERE'S MY SCALPAL?!! I *STAB* WILL NOT *STAB* ENDURE *STAB* THIS *STAB* ANY *STAB* LONGER *STAB STAB* !! I'd stab you in your neck, but if I got to close to your mouth, you'd probably find a way to smack on that too!!...So let's rewind to March 1...your's truly is taking a written test, for a job. Just like the SAT, I'm in a room taking it with other people. Everyone in the room is placed at a table with another person. Of course, I have to be seated next the grown ass man who hasn't discovered yet, the ability to read quietly to himself. I gotta sit near one of those types of people that does that out loud "whisper reading." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! WHERE IS MY SCALPAL?!! I CAN'T TAKE IT NO MORE!!! (flashback - remember the scene in PeeWee's Big Adventure when PeeWee jumps off the moving train to escape the singing bum? Well, this is like me riding on a train, with a bum, whisper reading his singing!!) A grown ass man, whisper reading? I'll tell you what. Why don't you make it easy for all of us? Why don't you just read out loud to everyone in the room, and when you're finished, hold up your test book, and show everybody the picture in it, by moving it side to side, so everyone can see it - like they did in pre-school. There are annoyances we should just be able to legally attack, until we stab them out of existence. The grown ass adult that sucks their thumb still. Nurse, scalpal!! The person that sucks their teeth-EVERY TEN SECONDS!! Nurse, the dullest scalpal you have, PLEASEEEEE!! The man sitting directly in front, or behind you in the movie theater, so called whispering to his girl throughout the WHOLE DAMN MOVIE!!... Hmmm, that nigga's kinda buff!...well, I'ma let him be this time. But I bed not catch nobody else talking in this movie, 'cause i don't want dude sitting behind me being distracted from saying what he got to say to his girlfriend, AND THAT'S ALL I'MA SAY!!!....

The Great Gaps-be

2006-03-05T10:20:00.000-05:00

Okay, so you know how they say that the camera adds about ten pounds to people, right? Well I found out that the camera not only adds weight to people, it actually makes EVERYTHING look bigger - including a gap in the teeth of someone's mouth. I have a gap in my teeth, and I never had contempt for it as much as when I saw the camera add ten pounds to my teeth. It made my smile look fat. Great! Now I have to go on a diet so I can get this obvious weight issue under control. First of all, I just have to say that seeing my gap really good on camera for the first time, I didn't even know it was me - it took friends to get me to recognize myself. Actually, I was emphatically denying that it could have been me, and that I was just a patsy for this wide mouthed body double that was purposely used to make me look bad. "Nah, that ain't me, that can't be me! I can't handle the tooth!! That gap look like something you'd find on the type of girl that Lamont Sanford would date - you know the type that likes to suck down Fatburgers, and say things like "chump", and "get down!" And why do my teeth look like they're in 3-D too? I have a bi-coastal smile? My own personal ivory coast? This gap is too insane. I look like the son of that guy at West Coast Customs who does Pimp My Ride. If this were football, a defender would line up on one tooth, and would have to go to man in motion to get to the other tooth. And what are people going to say about me after performances when I become famous. Ladies and gentlemen, Chris Reese's teeth have left the building...but he'll be available for questions if you wanna stick around and talk to him. I would go to extreme makeover for this one, but they when they say extreme, they mean EXTREME. They WANT, in fact, REQUEST, you to be an ogre for dramatic effect. I'm sorry, I just want to get a free job on a Hollywood smile. I know there's room for improvement there, but I don't have an ear above my eye, and at least my teeth aren't horizontal. And I HATE going to the dentist! And hate is an understatement. I just don't like that guy. Maybe it's because of the fact that when you go to him, he picks your gums apart with an icepik until they're bleeding, and then has the nerve to say, " your gums are not healthy, because they're bleeding!" Yeah they're bleeding, 'cause YOU made 'em bleed you bastard!! They weren't bleeding before I came in here, were they? WERE THEY?!! YOU FREDDY KRUEGER!! Maybe I just don't want to see him, 'cause I don't want him to embarass me by suggesting I get my braces done by the Long Fence, Co. Hmmm...maybe I can put in a requisition to Moses for him to bring together, instead of part, this time around. I'll tell you this, when I finally do have the money to get that Denzel smile, I'll never admit to having corrective procedure done on it. I'll no longer have a gap, but I'ma still act clueless when people ask me about what i had done-kind of like Michael Jackson when he denied all of his plastic surgeries. "So Chris, it looks like you had some work done on your teeth lately? My teeth? What do you mean? Your gap. You no longer have a gap in your teeth. What GAP are you referring to? You know what gap! The parking space you used to have between your teeth!! Look, I don't know what gap you're referring to. I've had two teeth whitening sessions and that's it"... I don't know. Maybe having a gap in your teeth isn't too bad. Look at the people in the industry who have become successful because of their gap. Eddie Murphy. David Letterman. Anthony Anderson. Condoleezza Rice. I've even had a woman tell me one time not to get rid of my gap, 'cause she thought it was sexy. I was actually surprised she said that, considering the fact that I DIDN'T put money in her g-string. What physical feature about yourself bugs you?......

1:30 a.m.(2/28/06)

2006-02-28T04:28:00.000-05:00

Welcome to another edition of, "Chris Reese, This Is Your Life", only without the powerful career, celebrityism, wealth, and adoring fans for it to be based on... I am your host, and guest of honor...ok, so finally, finally, I have finished moving and dealing with all the issues that come with that. I've been so busy, I haven't been able to pen too much while doing that...MOVING SUCKS!! I'd rather go the gym, and I NEVER go to the gym. At least at the gym, you have the option of walking past weights and not lifting heavy ass shit!! And at least in the gym, you might pickup someone, cause you can still look smooth at the gym. You can't look smooth moving. You ain't about to pick up no woman, moving, wearing your class shirt from high school, looking like it should be on a sixth grader, some barely long enough Nike wind pants or sweats with holes in them, and some old shoes that you probably done used as shower shoes on several occassions-IT AIN'T HAPPENING. Anyway, I should actually be in bed right now - it's one thirty in the morning and I have to be up early to work tomorrow. But it's funny how inspiration hits you at the weirdest moments - in the middle of the morning, and i'm not even really that tired. Maybe it has to do with the rain. Ah, yes. It is indeed raining in Southern California. Someone sho nuff misinformed Tony Toni Tone. They say it will probably rain most of the week out here, which is a nightmare for a lot of the people of elastic land out here. It is a well known fact that some people out here have gotten caught in the rain real bad, have had their plastic surgeries run, turning into to instant human slip and slides. For if it rains cats and dogs in Kansas, then this is the city where they say its raining breast implants and collagen injections. And i guess if this were Florida, they'd be saying it's raining Metamucil, and prune juice. And if it were D.C., then they would probably be saying it's raining hollow tips and armor piercing rounds..anyway, enought attempts at beyond late night humor...i guess i just wanted get some shit off my mind, and let other people try to feel me on what's going on inside of me.. For the past couple of weeks I've been busy scrambling, getting stuff packed, stored, and boxed for moving. Beyond the fact that moving SUCKS, no big deal..people move all the time... i guess for me however, I always look at moving in a way that most people think about their own mortality, when someone they know dies.. for me, i guess it's always an introspective process of sorting; examining what is backwards, and what is forward; what is success, what is failure; what is strength, what is weakness, what the hell i'm doing, and so forth and so on... though i'm finally moved and am sleeping in my new place for the first time tonight, for the past year, i've lived with my two best friends in the world, and their two children. For the most part, the only family I have out here on the west coast is (and soon to be, was) them - they are going to the east coast. I just want to say that there are very few people in the world that most people would bleed for. Needless to say, my best friends fall in that category, and I am lucky to have had met them while at school, and becoming very close to them over the past few years. They would certainly, of very few people in my circle, be at my first, televised stand up special *fingers crossed* Not to say that I don't have peeps back at home in d.c. that aren't on that level, but I don't have to explain why people have certain people as best friends. There's just a certain clicking that works on many levels, that you feel God knew what He was doing, when he brought (a) certain person(s) into you life. Anyway, that coupled with the fact that I have lived with them for the past year, has brought us closer, and I've learned some things living with them, about myself, married couples, kids, and being a better friend in general, that hopefully I'll use to grow as a better person. Since I lived with a married couple w/ kids, I also got material on their asses too. HA! HA! But the point that I'm trying to make is, that considering they're most of my family, away from my family back home in D.C., to part ways from them, leaves me nothing but the option to think about how my life proceeds with two less (four including their children) important people in my life. I was thinking about that as I was driving, listening to songs like K-Ci&JoJo's "All The Things I Should Have Known", and U2's "With or Without You", my car loaded with the last of my worldly possessions, on the way to my new spot. It was almost exactly the same feeling I had the day I left home(D.C.) back in May of 2000 to come to California-exciting, but without the people most important in my life, to take the journey with me. And when I think about that drive I made tonight, I realize that success, though nothing wrong with it and most people seek it, it sometimes comes, and especially in my case, at a price where the closer you get, the more the journey is made to be lone.

The Valentine's Day Massacre of Chris Reese

2006-02-23T01:36:00.000-05:00

Okay, so now that Valentine's Day is done, and a week removed, I can sit and speak on my thoughts of how this day plays in my life (or lack thereof). Now, I realize that this day, Valentine's, is something women take to heart more than men, and that many use this day as a gauge to know exactly how much their 'other half' cares, appreciates, and considers them special. At the very minimum, most women get swept up in the supposed romance of this day - even those that may not have their own 'valentine." Case in point, this past Valentine's Day, a (female) friend of mine's, called me up and asked me who my valentine was. WTF? What is that? What am I, back in grade school handing out those boxed valentine greetings and heart shaped lollipops to all my little classmate buddies? Of course I understand what she was really asking was, if there was someone special in my life. At the time, I didn't know how to respond (I actually told her I didn't know), because there's suppose to be someone I'm "supposedly" talking to, but my official position is that I am with no one. My reason why is two-fold. First, probably because I don't bang, blaze, "drank", thug, sling, baby boy (yes, i'm using this a verb), tatt (yet another verb use) rap, ball, lift, or push a fly whip. Another friend of mine's told me that she could never talk to someone like me, 'cause I didn't have enough "edge", though she couldn't tell me what edge was. Well if not having edge means I don't have an impressive jail record, don't get into fights wherever I go, don't beat your own ass every now and then, don't stalk, and am mentally stable, then I guess I'm that. I would probably go so far as to say, that because of that, I am seen as the proverbial "nice guy" in some eyes. Many women (and men) reading this are probably saying to themselves, then it's probably the type of woman you choose to keep as your friends, and that you should try to find better caliber friends - which may be true. But here's why for the past couple of years, I haven't put that energy into going after that "caliber", which leads me to my second answer of why I'm alone. And that answer is, BECAUSE I'M THAT CALIBER TOO!! Game recognizes game. Con recognizes con. Caliber should recognize caliber and I ain't got time to stop for someone who fails to meet me halfway on seeing that I'm on my grind and I'm the shit!! I'm skinny as fuck, but I'm still the shit! I'm not rich (yet), but I'm still the shit!! I don't do roses, 'cause it's MY time. Fuck that. Catch me a couple of years ago on that one. I don't do anything else, because quite simply, I feel someone should be buying me something.. and not even really that...just recognize and put your lighter up for this nigga...ya ya, i know..i sound conceited, self centered, i'm smelling myself- to which i respond, yeah i know... that same friend who called me this past Valentine's Day, once told me that I have a HUGE ego.. I thought to myself, Ego? I don't know what you talkin' about? The only ego i got, I put butter and syrup on... and I can't help it, if you think I'm God's gift to women. HAAA!!(By the way, her statement about my ego was an emotional retaliation i think, but that's another story i'll save for another time). Point is, cocky might be bold and offensive. And in this country I think that people think that you're only allowed to be as confident as you are good looking. But make no mistake, that sure nigga always stays up in peoples mouths. Where I gotta go, doesn't allow me to stop for something as trivial as a day called Valentines. Take the blue pill, sell myself short, and always wake up to Valentines? or take the red pill and see just how deep the rabbit hole goes? ...Chris? Chris Reese is dead my friends...from now on you can call me The Chris Reese, and as you can see, that kid's much more smarter now

BITCH, BE COOL!!!

2006-02-17T00:36:00.000-05:00

Ya, so I have this job delivering groceries right?(hey, gotta do something to pay the bills until comedy kicks in right)? Here's my problem which is not necessarily with the job, but with who I'm delivering to. If I'm delivering some form of uncooked raw meat to your house, and you have some kind of animal in your house that damn near outweighs me, that can smell what the Rock's got cooking, coupled with the fact that your animal don't see too many black people too often, coupled with the fact that the black man that your animal doesn't get to see too often is carrying the raw meat within the vicinity of said animal, here's a lil advice: TELL SOMEBODY 'BOUT THAT SHIT!! Forewarn!! Put some signs up like, Just Leave Our Shit On The Corner!! Or how 'bout, Our Dogs Don't Get To See That Many Black People, So If You're Black, You Might Want To Turn Your Black Ass Around Now!! You're not offending me by letting me know in advance that your dog is racist. That being said, I had to make a grocery delivery for the first time to some rich ass white people living way up in the mountains. Upon my arrival, two horses, running like they SeaBiscuit in the final race of the triple crown, came running out after me - yet for the life of me, I couldn't understand why horses would be barking. The fact that I almost shit on myself, cleared my suspicions about these dubious horses, and indeed confirmed my suspicions that these were really two BIG ASS rotweilers. Not one, but TWO, REALLY BIG ASS rotweilers - they might as well have been Jurassic Park dinosaurs, and I'm the idiot that got set up to be on this island. I proceed to jump in my truck, and wait for someone to come get these bastards. I guess the fact that the barking from his four legged killers seemed more like a war cry, instead of a Lassie welcomes home family, Norman Rockwell painting type of barking, piqued the owners interest, convincing him to come outside to see what was going on. In response to his dogs barking, he replied just like every other deluded owner of wild animals , Oh, they won't hurt anybody! Yeah right! I got three problems with that: number one, I don't fuck with rotweilers...cuz they crazy. Number two, I don't fuck with rotweilers...CUZ THEY CRAZY!!! (seriously, there's something not right about rotweilers, kind of like Terry McMillan's appearance/interview on the Oprah Winfrey show last year( both of 'em got that "just flicked the fuck off " potential), and 3) that type of nonchalant attitude about animals, is the same reason white people get attacked by sharks, get their ass kicked by deer on When Animals Attack, and surprised attacked and killed by THEIR OWN DAMN ROTWEILERS!! Fuck that, I'm not fucking with no damn rotweilers!!! I don't sleep on NO animals. I got an animal, and if that water turtle even look at me funny from inside his tank, I'll beat his ass with a police slapstick. Did I neglect to mention the fact that these people have a two year old child around these dogs? Okay, so what you're telling me is, we love our child, but shit, it ain't hard to make another one, if need be...but I digress...
Needless to say, I made it out of there that night alive, But all I'm saying is, I'ma do what I have to do to protect myself, because the dogs don't like me, and I sure as hell don't like their ass. Maybe since the owners care for the dogs so much, that love is reciprocated by the dogs. So the next time I have to make a delivery there, I'ma just drive my truck INTO the house. And when the dogs start barking this time, I'ma get medieval on their ass like Jules, grab the owner in a chokehold, put a gun to his head, and yell out, TELL THEM BITCHES BE COOL!!! SAY BITCHES BE COOL!!! CHILL THEM BITCHES OUT!!! NOW WE'RE ALL GONNA BE A BUNCH OF FONZIES, AREN'T WE?!!! THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA BE!!! WE'RE GONNA BE COOL!!!

Jiffy pop corn, and I don't care.........

2006-02-13T11:17:00.000-05:00

Saturday night...Okay, so who remembers Jiffy Pop popcorn? You remember. Comes in the round package with the wire handle and you put it on the stove and pop it until the aluminum foil expands. Right? Yeah, you remember...that was a long time ago, and they don't even make it no more you're saying to yourself? Same as I thought until I saw it in the store the other day. So the nostalgia within me says, I'll get one for old times sake, hook it up with a movie, should be good times. I mean come on, it actually says on the package, just as fun making it, as it is eating it. Well if they mean by that, clear your schedule for most of the day so you can make the damn popcorn AND consult your doctor before engaging in a new workout regimen, then I guess it is a good time. How did the hell did we ever survive on Jiffy Pop before microwave popcorn? IT TAKES FOREVER TO MAKE!!!!...you gotta put it on the stove and wait to you hear the sizzling, then when you hear the sizzle, shake it, right?!. Three to five minutes right?! Okay, so I turn on the flame, and put it on the stove...one minute...three minutes...five minutes.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................WHERE THE HELL IS THE DAMN SIZZLE?! Holdup, maybe I didn't turn on the stove, let me check under it. No, it's on. I see the flame. Well maybe my gas flame isn't hot this time. Let me stick my finger in it. No it's hot. Okay maybe it just needs more time. I'll just let it sit here while I go to the emergency room for my third degree burn. So after about five hours in the emergency room, as you might imagine, I'm a little hungry, so I stop by 7-11 to grab some Gatorade and a bag of popcorn. When I come home, I can't understand this sizzling I'm hearing. Then I remember - MY JIFFY POP!! So I run to the kitchen, and shake it, shake it, shake it like a polaroid picture... about this time, my roomies are dressed, and are leaving the house for Sunday service, while I'm standing over this damn popcorn working out like it's Taebo, step aerobics, yoga booty ballet, weight training, some damn thing. I'm switching off on arms, taking in a lot of oxygen, breathing hard and shit... I been shaking this thing forever, and quite frankly, my roomies are back from church, ready to eat popcorn, wondering when to start the damn movie!!! Finally, finally, the popcorn starts popping, and the foil starts expanding. When I'm done, my roomies ask if I'm gonna watch the movie and eat popcorn w/ them. No, I'ma go chill in the sauna, and then take a nap afterwards, just like people do after a workout! What the hell is wrong with y'all?!! I must admit, my arms are strong now though. I can slap the shit out of a building, and tree trunks. Slapping a woman is attempted murder... I do think Jiffy Pop needs to change its angle though. Popcorn is too hard. Maybe they should just market the wire handle so you can use it to jimmy open your car door when you get locked out. When you're done, just give the kids the seeds to use in a pellet gun to shoot at people while you're driving by other cars in celebration of breaking into your own car... this has been Chris Reese, stabbing out...

Kick in the door, baby!!!

2006-02-12T00:38:00.000-05:00

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! And what baby?!! It's O-VER now!! Ya boy's official and he's worldwide now!! The takeover is now in effect, and I ain't stopping till I got the whole east coast on my back...till I restore the balance back to the entertainment force...till MY black ass becomes the governor of California, till they say that boy's vichyssoise...ya heard? Alright, i guess that's enough of me smelling myself(for now), but ya gotta feel me on being cised about my website going live.... gotta admit, it looks pretty sick, so i gotta give mad love out to the Illpoet #7 for designing my site...got me looking like Leroy from the Last Dragon with "the glow" on my front page...that's some foreshadowing for your ass if you've ever seen some(meaningless side note: what the hell ever happened to Taimak anyway?) Anyway, this is my very first official blog ever-EVER! So, I know i use this to record my thoughts, day to day goings on in my life, yadi yadi yah... but what i really hope to do with this, is two fold: first, i hope to let people get to know who Chris Reese really is, and second, to be able to use this as a tool to help develop material. And YOU are blessed, lucky, special, born into rich Republican family privileged enough to see how a joke comes to be, from its genesis to the moment I go on stage, and bomb my MFing black ass off-like Sam Jackson in "The Man"! HA HA! But in comedy, you gotta bomb to blow.... That being said, time for me to roll bounce.... sooooooo, so long, adios, arivaderche, ciao bella, bonsoir, and if you live in Southern California, insert whatever the hell other language you speak here__________! This has been Chris Reese, stabbing out......